Getting Unstuck

Reevaluating

2011-06-08T20:34:00.003-07:00

Spent the weekend in the Bay Area.

Had a wonderful time.

Drank some fabulous wine.

Visited some beautiful places.

Caught up with some old friends.

Got a firsthand look - up close - at some truly gifted photography.

Rode BART, a lot.

Experienced CalTrain.

Felt rain for the first time in months.

Ate delicious food.

Slept in one day and woke before dawn the rest.

Missed my kids.

Saw the ocean.

Was asked a couple hard questions.

Thought a lot.

Cried a little.

Came home.

Want to go back.

Grammar Peeves

2011-06-02T17:36:00.003-07:00

When did the accepted spelling of "awww" (meaning, "isn't that sweet) and "ah" (as in, "oos and ahs" become "awe"?

Last I checked, the definition of awe was: an overwhelming feeling of reverence, admiration, fear, etc., produced by that which is grand, sublime, extremely powerful, or the like (Dictionary.com)

I know it's a silly thing to pick at, but things like this drive me batty. So many blog entries, Facebook posts, and other online writings are followed by comments with this misuse. I don't recall it being such a common misspelling in the past.

It makes me crazy when I see a photo of a friend's adorable newborn followed by comments like, "Awe, she is so cute!" or a Facebook post at the end of a stressful week like, "Awe, so good to put my feet up and relax with a cold one."

Nitpicking, I know. Where's my wine?

Forehead, Meet Brick Wall

2011-05-14T12:14:00.005-07:00

I have been so unmotivated to blog about anything for quite some time. Work has been overwhelming for sure, but I realize it's been so much more than that.

I've really been struggling with how to accept that there are things in life over which I have no control. No matter how strongly I feel about some things, and no matter how deeply they may hurt, in many cases I just have no say in the matter.

I guess the only thing I can control is how I react to things. Easier said than done.

I'm currently wrestling (and have been since last summer) with the knowledge that a child close to me is being neglected, but the line between laziness and outright neglect is so fuzzy in this case, and I live some distance from those involved. That means I feel like my hands are tied. I know from direct, personal experience in my previous capacity as a teacher and mandated reporter, that the authorities would not determine an investigation to be called for based solely on information from me.

I have tried speaking with those directly involved, but have been dismissed on multiple occasions. It's so frustrating, because what's going on is so obvious to anyone on the outside looking in. Thing is, nobody is looking in. This child has limited contact with the outside world (no preschool, no play dates, few excursions beyond the house or occasional trip to the park), so nobody else is calling the immediate family on the problem. It's just me, being meddlesome and "overreacting".

If a child was being beaten, if the parents were substance abusers, if basic physical needs were being neglected, it would be a no-brainer. That's not the case here though. It's more insidious, and it's a perfect storm of laziness, misplaced priorities, and egos.

I am not an excellent parent. My shortcomings are many, and there are a lot of things I wish I had do-overs on with regard to my kids, especially my older two. First-time parents make lots of mistakes. That's to be expected.

The situation that's causing me to lose sleep, however, is beyond the norm. There is an extremely dysfunctional family dynamic perpetuating the situation. There's a lot of rationalization and minimalization taking place. It's really sick.

It's heartbreaking to know there's a little boy out there who is missing out on so many opportunities to learn and grow and be a normal kid. He will spend years trying to make up for the delays that are already resulting from the environment in which he's being raised, and the lack of early intervention he should already be benefiting from to address some obvious, serious developmental issues. The pediatrician involved has not stepped in, primarily because the parents do a good job of responding to screening questions with the "right" answers, as opposed to accurate answers.

Another situation I've been grappling with has to do with a HUGE lie that has been perpetuated over many, many years by someone close to me. It doesn't affect me directly, but there are a lot of secondary issues that this lie touches on, and decisions made that affect me directly and indirectly - decisions that would certainly be made differently if others knew the truth.

I feel like the last 12 to 18 months has been dominated by carrying around these burdens, feeling like there are things taking place around me that I cannot control. How do I take my hands off the wheel and just let it all go? I've got to come to some kind of acceptance of this, and make peace with the knowledge that these are not my problems, even if they do affect me. I can't do anything about them.

How do you make peace with things that you know are wrong?

New Year's Resolution

2010-12-30T14:27:00.001-07:00

After much time and thought, I've realized that my resolution for 2011 needs to be a realistic one.

So here it is:

Smile more.

Happy New Year!

Feeling HOT! HOT! HOT!

2010-11-23T16:25:00.004-07:00

Back to the blog...

Yes, I've been off the radar for a while. Summertime in the desert just sucks the life out of me. Extreme temperatures, kids out of school and underfoot, and the busiest time of year work-wise mean June to September are not happy months for me. Don't get me wrong, I do love time with my children. It's just a challenging confluence of circumstances, and it's stressful.

I now have two preteen daughters in Middle School and one very willful three year old boy. It's a hormonal mess in my house, and it's stressful.

The budget in our state continues to assault our school funding, which directly affects my job. Schools have little money to spend, and my job depends on them spending it with my company and not another vendor. It's stressful.

Can you tell I'm a little stressed?

It was suggested to me on several occasions that I might want to find an outlet for my stress. Since punching random passers-by was not an option, I thought I might get back to a physical activity I'd previously enjoyed over a decade ago - yoga. Only now, because I live in the bowels of Hell and apparently, on some deep inner level am sad to see triple digit temperatures in the rear view mirror, I decided to try HOT yoga.

May I just say one thing?

IT'S AWESOME!

And one more thing... no, I am not anywhere in that photo up there. I hide from cameras when I'm fully clothed and not sweating like a patron of a Turkish bath house, so I'm not about to let anyone catch a shot of me in my hot yoga class. At least, not yet. But man, if my arms and abs start to look like the ones I see in my class anytime soon, I might rethink that.

In the Thick of It. Again.

2010-07-09T16:44:00.003-07:00

Yep, it's that time of year again.

Time for me to settle into my serious "I HATE the Desert" funk. As opposed to my less serious "I Hate the Desert" funk, in which I wallow from November to April.

There is nothing redeeming about this place. After four years, I have yet to find beauty in the desert. There are parts of the Southwestern US that are quite pretty, and some that are truly stunning.

The major metropolitan area in which I live is definitely not one of them.

I've already managed one weekend getaway several weeks ago. I traded 110+ degree desert weather for 90+ degree, steamy, sticky Miami weather. I'm sure that climate gets on one's nerves over time, but for 3 1/2 days I soaked up some humidity and drank in the lush foliage that's everywhere in south Florida.

Even the weeds are prettier in Miami.

I'm realizing that I can't make peace with the idea of a long-term future living where we live right now. Something's gotta give.

(sigh)

Mothers' Day = Happy Spine

2010-05-10T10:47:00.004-07:00

My newest baby:

My sweet husband and kidlets presented me with this dreamy office chair for Mothers' Day. After a McDonalds breakfast in bed, my daughters blindfolded me and marched me downstairs (talk about an act of trust), where Happy awaited.

Yes, I named the chair Happy.

I started working from home in July of 2008 and have spent most of the last 2 years working at a desk while sitting on a metal folding chair. Having this new high back executive throne makes my back and butt very, very happy.

I love my new perch, and I love the note my family attached to the chair:

Because you break your back every day with all you do for us, you shouldn't have to break your back at work. Happy Mothers' Day!

Awwwww....

Little Things

2010-05-08T10:07:00.000-07:00

Generic Q-Tips just don't cut it for me.

That is all.

I Miss This Guy

2010-05-07T10:46:00.006-07:00

No, that's not my grandpa (although there is a very faint resemblance to my Pop-pop). In fact, I only met this man once in my entire life.

His name is Tony Hillerman, and I had the privilege of meeting him in 1991, at the Mystery Writers of America Awards Dinner in New York City. I attended with my grandfather, (not the one who kind of looks like Mr. Hillerman, but a side-by-side comparison might have been interesting...). I even had the opportunity to get my favorite of his novels - A Thief of Time, if you're wondering - personally autographed.

Mr. Hillerman was funny, humble, and very down-to earth. He's been one of my favorite authors for decades, and it was an honor to meet him. Unfortunately, he passed away in 2008.

It's been over a year since my dad has presented me with a new Hillerman novel for my birthday, Christmas, or "just because". It hit me recently that, not only is this wonderful author no longer with us, but his characters are gone as well. Sure, I can revisit Detective Joe Leaphorn and Officer Jim Chee any time I wish by cracking my copies of the Hillerman novels that sit on my bookshelf, but it's not the same. Tony Hillerman made his characters so believable, they start to feel like acquaintances once you read a few of his books. I suppose this is what makes the loss if this writer even more sad...those "old friends" are gone too. I'll never know what happens to the characters.

When a true artist - a gifted painter, writer, musician, engineer, architect, etc. - passes away, we not only lose the individual, we lose the potential their gift held as well. The private person (someone's mom, dad, child, sister, husband, friend) is mourned by his or her family and community. The "artist" - the aspect of that person that created amazing, beautiful, valuable, or significant things - leaves behind a gap of talent that the whole world mourns. We miss the unmade, the unfinished, the unrealized.

Can't Wait

2010-05-05T20:42:00.003-07:00

So excited to have the opportunity to see these amazing musicians live this weekend. The documentary about their beginnings in the refugee camps of Guinea during the conflict in their native Sierra Leone is awesome. I'm looking forward to a fabulous show. If you have the chance, go see them in person. So inspiring!

http://refugeeallstars-audience.fm/

Happy Thoughts - I'm On Top!

2010-04-30T08:50:00.003-07:00

...top of the Google list, that is. Seriously.

My humble little blog that nobody reads is at the very top of the list in Google. Don't believe me? Go to Google and search for "dead cow road".

Voila! There's this post, right at the top of the search results.

Okay, so it's a search for Dead Cow Road, not deep-thinking political analysis or thoughtful posts on my charming kids (wink, wink) but in a tiny, twisted way, my blog is number one.

It cracks me up to see that about 80% of the new traffic to my blog is generated by Google searches for Dead Cow Road.

It's random, but it's something to smile about.

Happy Thoughts - Day One

2010-04-28T20:06:00.000-07:00

My husband is on his way home from a whirlwind three days in D.C., meeting with members of Congress and VIPs (various important politicos).

My kids seem to be kicking their colds.

I'm almost finished with a big, potentially lucrative work project.

My car still runs.

My German Shepherd has not slaughtered the pair of ducks who've taken up residence in our backyard pond.

Sandra Bullock's new baby is adorable.

Today was a good day.

The Sunshine Experiment

2010-04-27T17:59:00.003-07:00

I've hit a wall, and there are three things you can do when you hit a wall.

You can break through it.

You can go over or around it.

You can pack your shit and go home.

Choice number three is not an option for me, so I've decided to find a way to go through, over or around this personal wall.

I'll admit, I've always been a glass-half-empty kind of girl (...and while we're at it, what is that spot on the glass and who's responsible for failing to make sure the glass was clean in the first place?). My pessimistic attitude has a lot to do with many of the challenges I regularly face.

I need to do something about it.

So, for laughs, I'm going to try an experiment. I'm committing to one week of positivity.

Nothing but sunshine and rainbows.

No watching sad news stories.
No reading internet articles or websites that are anything but uplifting and cheerful.
No tolerating negative thoughts. They will be swiftly evicted and replaced with affirmations.
Daily blogging about things for which I am grateful or that have made me happy.

To be honest, the thought of this undertaking is a bit overwhelming. It's just not my nature to be...chipper. Jeez, I mean, dod you even notice how negative my to-do list is? Almost all nos.

I'm going to take it one day at a time. One hour at a time. One thought at a time. We'll see how it goes. Feel free to send your positive energy my way.

:-)

The Cove

2010-03-23T09:31:00.003-07:00

I watched this Academy Award winner on Sunday and it rocked my world. I can honestly say I don't think I will be able to ever set foot in Sea World again. Nor will I buy any Japanese products until this changes.

"You're either an activist or an inactivist."

In the Aftermath

2010-02-06T16:15:00.002-07:00

I wrote the post below in the weeks leading up to the 2008 Presidential election. In light of what has occurred in Haiti over the past several weeks, I thought it was worth revisiting. Agree or disagree, I hope it makes you think a little bit.

Friday, October 17, 2008 (Original post date)

Call me a Liberal, I Guess

Have you ever spent time in a Third World country? I'm not counting shopping excursions or runs for cheap prescription meds to Mexican border towns. I'm talking THIRD WORLD, as in unstable government, collapsing infrastructure, disease-riddled, population-exploding THIRD WORLD. Have you?

(And no, the Inland Empire doesn't count either.)

I ask this question because it seems that, in this politically-charged pre-election period, the concept of social programs has become a dirty word. Callers on radio talk shows dial up and rage at the thought of their hard-earned tax dollars going toward social services in this country. As a nation, we sneer at the thought of our citizens taking handouts.

I'll be honest...the stereotypical welfare recipient pisses me off too. I don't believe that anyone benefits when you get something for nothing. I believe in the value of hard work and self-sufficiency.

I also know that, when I found myself unexpectedly expecting (how's that for an oxymoron?) in my final semester of grad school and my husband was working construction with no benefits, there's no way we could have afforded that pregnancy without state aid.

I paid into "the system" every paycheck since I started flipping burgers at Carl's Jr. in the Westminster Mall at sixteen. And for a little over a year, while I carried my firstborn child, finished my Master's degree, and secured a full-time teaching job with medical benefits, I took from "the system." It's what I had to do, and I am grateful for it every day.

Now, back to my initial question regarding Third World countries...

I reflected tonight, as I sat at the dinner table with my family, on the fact that we are so blessed to live in a stable, democratic country. We live in a nation where, no matter our political differences, we still have the peaceful transfer of power every 4 or 8 years. There are so many places in this world that do not get to experience that.

I also realized that, like it or not, those very same social programs that so many Americans rail against ("I don't want to pay my hard-earned money to support some Welfare Mother!") enable us to live according to the principles we hold dear.

It's a lot easier to be "Pro-Life" when the government provides help if you're trying to finish school.

It's also a lot easier to have a peaceful, stable democracy when you don't have the kind of poverty found in Third World countries.

Don't believe me? Catch a flight from Miami to Haiti on American Airlines or Spirit Air. Seriously, it'll only take you a couple hours to plunk yourself right, smack-dab in the middle of the most dire poverty in the hemisphere. Spend fifteen minutes walking around downtown Port-au-Prince and then ask youself if you think some good, old-fashioned American-style social services might actually help that place turn the corner in the direction of stability and democracy. I bet you'd agree they might.

A population that is rioting at the cost of basic food staples poses a challenge for a democracy. A country with large numbers of unfed, unemployed, uneducated, unhoused, un-provided-for individuals is a country with large numbers of potential agitators, terrorists, and easily incited people. In Haiti, one can see how easily a bowl of beans and rice can buy the loyalty of a starving street kid. To whom would you rather that hungry teen be loyal? The government, or an exiled paramilitary leader trying to illegally overthrow the government?

The contrast between the haves and the have-nots in Haiti is extreme. The haves get education, medical care, homes, and food while the have-nots often get none of those things. Trust me...many of those haves did not get their advantages through hard work and perseverance. They were just lucky to be born to the "right" father or mother. They are as guilty of not lifting a finger as any welfare recipient in the U.S.

I guess this post is just my long-winded (and heavily hyphenated) way of saying this:

I believe the money we pay for social services in the United States is the price we pay for a stable democracy...that's a price I'm glad to pay.

I Just Couldn't Do It

2010-01-23T18:31:00.002-07:00

Last night, a massive telethon called "Hope for Haiti Now: A Global Benefit for Earthquake Relief" aired on multiple networks all over the US. I wish I could have tuned in, but I couldn't find it in myself to do so.

Don't get me wrong, I am happy beyond measure that the biggest names in entertainment stood up and gave of their time to help raise much-needed funds to support a group of worthy charitable organizations. It warms my heart to know that people continue to keep their hearts open to the tragedy in Haiti and gave generously to help in some way.

But I just couldn't turn on that TV.

Maybe it's because I've spent most of the last two weeks absolutely wrecked by what happened in a place I love so much. Seriously - I have even begun to wonder if it's time for me to call in a counselor because I have found myself, on several occasions, sobbing uncontrollably and totally overwhelmed by the grim reality of the situation.

Or maybe it's because I am sick, SICK to my stomach that THIS is what it took for the world to wake up and see the poverty and desperation that already existed in Haiti, long before the earth shook. I am in total agreement with Anderson Cooper and Dr. Sanjay Gupta, who have frequently commented on the "stupid" and "unnecessary" death and suffering that's taking place in Haiti as a result of the lack of basic infrastructure and social services before the earthquake.

Of all the shiny famous people who stood up for Haiti last night, there are only a couple who ever publicly expressed an ounce of concern about her before January 12, 2010. So, for as much as I genuinely applaud their efforts in last night's telethon, I wish they had cared a little more, a little sooner.

Maybe, if more folks had cared sooner, fewer children would be orphaned today and fewer parents would be wondering what happened to their babies.

If you feel so moved, please feel free to donate to the cause: HopeForHaitiNow.org

I am in no way trying to take away from last night's effort. I just couldn't watch it. I hope it was a good show...

Levity (Or, Is There a Silent Epidemic of Premature Hair Loss in 2010?)

2010-01-16T20:58:00.009-07:00

So I spent the better part of this week alternately being devastated by the events in Port-au-Prince and the rest of southern Haiti and being pissed off at ignorant fools who manage to get behind a microphone and in front of a television camera.

By Saturday afternoon I realized I needed to refocus my energy back on my family and give my daughters some girl time, so we spent a few hours at the mall, spending their "Grandma and Grumpy money". It was just what I needed.

It was also an interesting people-watching expedition. Specifically, an interesting teen-watching opportunity. I realize that old people strolling the mall and grousing about the idiotic get-ups in which the younger generation parade themselves is a long-standing American pastime. I'm no trailblazer in this department. But I do wonder if I am the first to notice what appears to be a crisis of epidemic proportions in today's shopping centers, movie theaters, and other popular teen haunts.

You see... the dreaded COMB OVER is no longer confined to stringy-haired balding men in deep denial. It is now the standard issue teen 'do.

What the hell?!?!

Don't believe me? Check this out:

First...the CLASSIC COMB-OVER

And now...COMB-OVER 2.0 (AKA - "I'm 15 and trying to hide premature hair loss")

Maybe it's just me, but I think I see a pattern here... Or do they actually think it looks awesome?

Okay, now nobody better bust out those circa 1985 photos of me with my purple, crimped 'do.

Because that actually DID look awesome.
In my mind.
In 1985.

Hypocrites, Take a Flying Leap (EXPLICIT)

2010-01-15T11:28:00.005-07:00

For those of you who think that Pat Robertson or any of the other "Christian" idiots who spew venom about Haitian deals with the devil or other ignorant crap have a single fucking clue what they are talking about, consider the video below. Then consider the fact that the VAST majority of Haitians are IN FACT CHRISTIANS.

Also consider the fact that the whole supposed "Ceremony at Bois Caiman" in 1791 (the eve of the Haitian Revolution), in which an alleged pact with satan was made in order to gain independence from the French is disputed to have even taken place.

http://www.webster.edu/~corbetre/haiti/history/revolution/caiman.htm

Consider that the idea of a bunch of African slaves throwing off their shackles and kicking Napoleon's ass scared the shit out of the slaveholding nations of the United States, France, and other European powers in the early 19th Century, and consider the blatant, brutal racism that existed at that time throughout the western world. Consider there just might have been a reason for this pack of lies to have been perpetuated by "Christian" plantation owners and slaveholders in the U.S. at that point in history, and later passed on to their children and grandchildren.

Consider that one of many reasons for the Dominican Republic's relative "success" compared to Haiti is the FACT that the U.S., France, and most of the rest of Europe effectively isolated Haiti for the first century of her independence through economic embargoes and a refusal to recognize Haiti's independence.

Consider educating yourself a little bit about the history and culture of Haiti before you swallow - hook, line and sinker - the absolute CRAP that too many "Christians" are spouting as truth.

Consider the FACT that Christianity teaches us about God's forgiveness and mercy, so that even if the ancestors of today's Haitians had attempted to win their right to liberty via a deal with the dark one, their descendants have - by and large - found Christ and accepted Him as their Savior.

And then, if you still think there's even a grain of truth in the words of Pat Robertson and his fellow dip shits, consider fucking off.

No! No! No!

2010-01-14T12:48:00.004-07:00

God is reserving a very special place in Hell for this man, I'm certain.

I could turn this into an extremely livid rant about Pat Robertson and his kind, but I'll try to hold my tongue to the best of my ability.

At least for now.

At the moment I'm too busy trying to be productive at work while keeping an ear to the ground for word on friends and colleagues in Haiti to give myself permission to go off on an expletive-filled rant about this man's ignorance and cruelty.

At least for now...

Gimme a Break!

2009-12-15T10:29:00.006-07:00

I'm about to go off here. Be warned.

Seems some folks are getting all twisted into knots about the latest Disney animated feature film, The Princess and the Frog. Apparently, there's some real concern about the movie's inclusion of elements of New Orleans voodoo in the plot. Twitter tweets and blog posts by worried parents are burning up the web because people are scared that Disney may expose their babies to satanic influences with this film.

Oh brother!

Okay, I'm going to step back for a moment and say this: If you, as a parent, are truly concerned about the messages to which your children are exposed, kudos to you for being vigilant. I commend your efforts to filter the experiences of childhood in an informed and responsible way. More parents need to be on the ball about this stuff, as far as I'm concerned. I'd love to see more parents paying attention to what their kids read, watch, listen to, and put in their mouths.

But hear me out...

Do not tell me there is no racism involved when parents decide *this* is the movie they need to watch out for. I'm talking about parents who have more or less accepted Disney films as wholesome fodder for their precious young'uns until now.

A little history for your consideration:

Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs - White witch queen banishes, then later casts spell on beautiful stepdaughter out of jealousy. Step daughter goes and lives with seven dudes in a remote locale. Mighty shady. And wouldn't the plural of dwarf be dwarves?
Pinocchio - Italian wooden puppet boy comes to life via magic. Hmmm...methinks a little Stregheria might be involved here. Just sayin'.
Fantasia - All kinds of wizardry and witchcraft going on in this flick. I won't comment on the obvious consumption of mass quantities of hallucinogenics that took place at the animation studios.
Sleeping Beauty - More jealous white witch action.
Bedknobs and Broomsticks - Not a DIY home show.
Mary Poppins - Now tell me she's not a witch. Homegirl can fly fergoshsakes!
The Sword in the Stone - Anglo-Saxon witchcraft at its finest. Merlin is the man!
The Black Cauldron - Ummm...yeah. No comment necessary. More white people dabbling in magical stuff.
The Little Mermaid - Underwater white (okay, GREY) witch this time. Added bonus of a scantily clad female protagonist.
Beauty and the Beast - More European magic/enchantment/witchcraft. Yawn.....
Aladdin - Ahh, finally, some multicultural magic goin' on. Evil Middle Eastern dabblers in devilry. Come on folks, Robin Williams as a djinn! Oh, and another scantily clad leading babe.
The Lion King - Guess it's okay if it's animals screwing around with soothsaying, conjuring, etc.
Pocahontas - Here come the pagan native North Americans. Okay, no medicine men in this one, but there is a benevolent talking tree spirit... Main girl also uses the same fashion tape to keep from busting out of her duds as her buddies Ariel and Jasmine above.
The Hunchback of Notre Dame - Uh oh. Catholicism and magic. Look out!
Hercules - Polytheism, all wrapped up in a warm, fuzzy Disney flick!
Mulan - Politically correct Asian ancestor reverence and talking, singing/dancing dead folks. And cross-dressing too!
The Emperor's New Groove - Indigenous South American mojo. Oye!

I think by now you see what I'm getting at. Disney has a long history of incorporating a little magic into their "magic". So back to my original point. If it's not racism, why then are people whose home DVD collections include a number of the above titles getting their knickers in a bunch about The Princess and the Frog?

Just wondering...

***And in case you couldn't figure it out already, I have shared all the above films with my daughters. And yes, there has occasionally been some discussion of the more occult elements involved. That's my job as a parent, right? Or should I just be plopping them in front of the DVD player and assuming it's the film studios' responsibility to make my parenting choices for me?

Totally Unstickified!

2009-12-11T18:34:00.004-07:00

I am the worst blogger in the world, apparently. I have neglected my blog for the past few months because (gasp!) real life has required some serious attention. I won't feel guilty. I won't!

I have been devoting a lot of time and energy to my job, and a lot of thought and prayer to a big decision regarding my job.

In the midst of a major recession, when so many are worrying about the security of their jobs, where companies are downsizing and cutting hours, when even that "perceived-to-be-most-secure-of-professions" (teaching - my career for most of the last 12 years) is no longer safe from the axe, my employer is growing.

(Wow, was that a long sentence, or what?!?!)

I digress...

In a nutshell, my company is growing by leaps and bounds. Our territory has more than doubled since I came on board in July, 2008. It's exciting to be part of a team that is doing well in otherwise uncertain times. This growth has created new jobs, and I was presented with an opportunity to make a leap of faith.

As of January 1st, I will be transitioning from the training end of my company (with its modest, albeit guaranteed salary) to a sales position that is quite geographically desirable relative to where I live. The earning potential is unlimited. None of the sales team in my company - even those who had a "bad" year - made less than double what I currently make.

I am thrilled, terrified, and optimistic.

What I struggle with most is giving myself permission to take a calculated risk. For the vast majority of my time as a wife and mother, I have been the primary breadwinner in our family. For a long time, I have been the one who had to make sure things were taken care of. I was the one who could never take a chance, because - at the end of the day - it was all on me.

My husband is out of school and in a career he loves. He gets up every day and goes to work at a job that gives him a deep sense of accomplishment and pride. The fact of the matter though is this: He's in social work. He will never make a ton of money.

We're not greedy people. We don't need a mansion or a fleet of luxury vehicles. We don't even expect to take regular vacations or be able to shop in the high-end department stores. I am all about being frugal and watching our pennies, and nothing's going to change that. But we have three children. We have three college educations to finance, three weddings to help cover, three sets of braces, three of everything.

I know how rare it is for someone to find a job they truly love. My husband has found that. I can't ask him to turn his back on a job that makes him so happy just to pursue bigger bucks. So, I guess it's on all on me.

And I'm okay with that!

Super Snapshot Saturday #1

2009-10-17T07:49:00.004-07:00

Life has been in the way lately, and frankly my blog has had to take a back seat. I find myself incredibly overwhelmed by inertia...once I lose momentum it's very difficult for me to get moving again. So it goes with my blog. I'm still sitting on a half-finished post about my son's birth. It'll get done - someday.

In the mean time, Angel over at Emily Makes Three came up with a fun idea, and one that's perfect for helping me find my momentum again when it comes to blogging. The idea?

Super Snapshot Saturdays!

This week's theme - Black and White

So, after much deliberation, I submit some of my current favorite B&W shots.

I love this shot of my husband and my eldest child. This photo is four or five years old, but my husband still demonstrates the same attentiveness and love for our children that he does in this shot.

Along the river in Chilliwack, BC - July 2005
My middle child, finding pretty rocks. We spent 3 beautiful weeks on the road, driving from Southern California, through Oregon and Washington, into British Columbia and the Canadian Rockies, and finally into Alberta before turning around and heading home down the Pacific coast. We need another vacation like this!

My son, one of the most cheerful babies I know. He's two now, but this side of his personality is still very much intact. There are days (like today) where the stress of having a toddler at 40 weighs heavily on me and I wonder what the heck I'm doing, but his joy and energy are a welcome addition to our home. I love this kid!

Please Excuse the Interruption

2009-09-25T13:44:00.003-07:00

Work and life in general have been busy, and I have not been tending to this blog as I should. I will return to regularly scheduled programming as soon as possible, but in the mean time, for those of you with young children, this is important information.

If you use this product:

...please visit this website for IMPORTANT RECALL INFORMATION

My Miracle Man - Part Two

2009-09-05T22:08:00.006-07:00

***WARNING - This post includes frank and graphic descriptions of a medically challenging pregnancy and delivery. I'm talking blood, swear words, and (gasp) moments of doubt about my heart, my faith, and my desire to go through the whole ordeal. If you're going to be offended by any of these things, don't bother reading any further. Don't say I didn't warn you...***

I still get goosebumps sometimes when I look at my son and think about all we went through to have him here today. The fact that he is cute as hell doesn't hurt, of course, but that's just my opinion.

Following two instances at 6 and 12 weeks pregnant where health care professionals assumed I was in the process or on the verge of miscarrying, I wasn't taking anything for granted. The ER doctor who treated me at 12 weeks sent me home with instructions addressing my anemia (from massive blood loss) and orders to follow up later that morning with my own OB/GYN. He was not especially optimistic, quoting statistics that brought into focus the distinct possibility (or rather, probability) that this pregnancy was on its way out.

My husband and I returned home to our still-sleeping daughters (who were in the care of my brother-in-law and his wife, and I headed straight to bed. Every trip to the bathroom was a nerve-wracking experience as I feared what I'd see left behind. Fortunately, our mattress pad - and my husband's quick action - had done a good job of saving our mattress from what might otherwise ended up looking like the scene of an axe murder. Our sheets were a total loss though.
I called my physician as soon as her office opened and made an appointment to see her later that day.

Dr. M was supportive but cautious during our office visit. She did another ultrasound and was pleased with what she saw as far as the baby's position and that of the placenta. She could not ascertain the exact cause of my heavy bleeding, but suspected a subchorionic hemorrhage. I was told to take it easy for a week or so, and return to her office for weekly ultrasounds to check the baby's growth and the health of the placenta.

Now, with my first two pregnancies ultrasounds were major events, scheduled in advance. They were precious opportunities to nab a couple snapshots of the little one inside me, as well as a few moments of video footage. Truly valuable stuff. With Connor, I was to end up having so many ultrasounds I would eventually lose count. The staff at my doctor's office generously printed out sweet pictures of my little guy each time, and it honestly got to the point where (I can't believe I'm admitting this) I'd say a half-hearted "Thanks," and shove them in my purse. Seriously, I was getting tired of all the photos. I have an entire manila envelope filled with pictures of my gestating son, starting at 6 weeks, then 12 weeks, then every stinking week after that until 32 weeks...plus a couple more bonus shots between 32 and 37 weeks.

I had a grand total of 36 prenatal office visits just with my OB/GYN. This does not include the visits with the perinatologist who consulted on my case, nor the "routine" ultrasounds at the imaging center at specific stages of pregnancy (you know, where they measure all the important stuff and looks for indications of certain conditions or risk factors). Thank God for my husband's platinum health insurance package!

Other than earning frequent flier miles at my doctor's office (yeah, I wish) and collecting a ridiculous number of ultrasound snapshots of my growing son, the rest of my pregnancy was relatively uneventful. I did suffer from the most insane case of pregnancy-induced insomnia on the planet, but as far as physical problems, the pregnancy was pretty mellow from 12 weeks on. I was working full time as a 4th grade teacher, and I was 38 years old, but all things considered it went pretty well!

Here in Arizona, many schools take time off in early October as a "Fall Break". Considering that school starts here in early August, and that it's usually still in the high 90s come October, a week off is definitely in order. Well, my son's official due date was October 21, so I'd planned on working until Friday, October 5th. The following week was our Fall Break, so I figured I'd be able to wring an extra week of maternity leave out of the whole situation if I could just make it to the 5th. Connor had other plans...

I went for my weekly visit with Dr. M on Monday, October 1. She was a little concerned by the baby's heart rate, which was dipping somewhat, so she asked me to go to the hospital for a few hours of fetal monitoring. I followed orders and headed downtown for what was, quite possibly, the most boring two hours of my life. Since my husband was home with our daughters, I was alone in the hospital, tethered to the bed by those annoying fetal monitors. Fortunately, Connor's heart rate was in the acceptable range, so I was sent home and told to report back to the hospital in two days for another session. I did a little happy dance because there was a very boring-sounding mandatory meeting at work that Wednesday and I was thrilled to have an excuse to duck out. Come on, at the end of pregnancy, sitting in meetings just sucks!

I continued about my business, teaching and taking care of my family and trying to finish up all my lesson plans for the substitute teacher who would be taking over my class during my time off. On Wednesday morning, I walked my students to their music class and returned to my classroom. At one point it felt as though I had experienced a loss of bladder control, but I couldn't be sure. All you moms out there know what I mean. With my two previous children I never had a spontaneous rupture of my membranes. In both cases, the doctor had to break my water toward the end of labor. This time was different.

I had about twenty minutes before I needed to reclaim my students, so I informed the teacher across the hall that I thought something might be up. I let her know I was going to the ladies' room to check on things, and "If I'm not back in 15 minutes it means I'm giving birth in the staff restroom so could you please go get my students for me?" She laughed and told me not to worry about it.

Once in the ladies room it became obvious that something was up. I immediately informed my principal that I thought I was in labor (although I wasn't feeling any contractions) and would need to leave as soon as possible. Of course, I had all my lesson planning complete - copies made, resources gathered, books collected - for the weeks following Fall Break through late December (my anticipated maternity leave). I did not, however, have anything prepared for the two and a half days left in the week. I fully expected to make it until Friday, plus have a week or so off before the baby actually came, so this was not in my plans! Those of you who are teachers know that it's ten times the work to plan for a sub than to "do it yourself". Now I found myself running around (yes, with ruptured membranes) making copies and laying out materials for whoever was going to cover my class for the next few days.

The ladies in the office and copy room were yelling at me to JUST GO! I reminded them that my husband still needed to get back down this way from his work in Scottsdale (because I was not about to attempt to drive myself to downtown Phoenix while in labor), so I had a good thirty minutes or so before I had to go. They thought I was crazy. I later found out just how crazy I really was, and how very, very close I could have come to a very, very bad outcome.

More to come...

My Miracle Man - Part One

2009-09-04T20:52:00.010-07:00

***WARNING - This post includes frank and graphic descriptions of a medically challenging pregnancy and delivery. I'm talking blood, swear words, and (gasp) moments of doubt about my heart, my faith, and my desire to go through the whole ordeal. If you're going to be offended by any of these things, don't bother reading any further. Don't say I didn't warn you...***

If there was ever a doubt in my mind as to whether miracles are possible, this little man erased them.

Connor was born in the fall of 2007, and everything about his birth - and the 37 weeks prior to it - was miraculous.

This was an unplanned, and unexpected pregnancy. Our daughters were approaching the end of elementary school and we assumed our family was complete. I was looking to make a career change, and adding a new baby to the mix was not part of the plan. I'd be lying if I didn't admit that, upon learning we were expecting #3, I was a little uncertain about my feelings.

At 6 weeks, I experienced cramping and bleeding that sent me rushing to my doctor's office. The nurse practitioner who examined me used terms like "what appears to be products of conception" while describing what she observed. In other words, it looked to her like I was having a miscarriage. I was frightened and a little disappointed, but I guess because I was still struggling to process the whole *holy crap, how are we ever going to afford another child and now I'm never going to be able to leave teaching and shit, we don't have family close by anymore and now we have to find daycare and jeez how expensive is that going to be and besides I'm too damn old to be having a baby and do we even want to be starting all over again with this baby stuff* thing, a teeny-tiny little part of me was thinking that God was letting us off the hook and not expecting us to take on more that we could handle.

Imagine the surprise and shock in the room when the NP brought out the ultrasound to verify her suspicions and instead found an itty-bitty, perfect little 6 week heartbeat. At that moment I started to cry, and I admitted to myself that I kinda-sorta did want this baby after all.

A month and a half later, the long Easter weekend was about to begin. I finished the work week on Thursday and was looking forward to having Good Friday off. I'd felt some little twinges at work on Thursday, but assumed it was that "round ligament" crap the doctors always talk about in pregnancy. We went to bed fairly early, and I didn't think anything unusual was up. At about 1 AM, something caused me to awaken.

I don't remember exactly what happened next, but I remember sitting up in bed and hearing my husband say, "Oh, Honey!" I jumped out of bed, from a pool of blood that extended from my mid-back to my knees. I was dizzy and my heart was racing as I grabbed the cordless phone and stumbled to the bathroom. I called my OB/GYN's office and stood on the cold tile by the toilet. As I spoke with the nurse on call, I told her I was afraid to sit on the toilet, even though I had the urge to use the restroom, because I was afraid everything was going to, er...come out. She calmly told me that if it was going to happen, there was nothing I could do about it. I needed to use the toilet, she said, to take the pressure off the uterus.

As I sat on the toilet, I could hear my husband stripping the blood-soaked sheets and mattress pad off our bed and filling the tub in order to try and salvage them with a cold water soak. He fumbled for his cell phone, calling his brother and sister-in-law to see if they could come to our house and stay with our sleeping 9 and 8 year old daughters. He knew a trip to the hospital was inevitable.

The on-call nurse advised my husband to call an ambulance, due to the volume of blood loss I was experiencing. During my first-ever ambulance ride, I remember thinking that I don't know how folks with gunshot wounds, broken bones, or large pieces of metal embedded in their bodies could tolerate the jostling and bouncing of the rig. Man, was it rough! I also recall hearing one of the paramedics. who was seated next to my hip, whisper, "Dude, she's losing a LOT of blood!" to his partner. Ummm...not reassuring.

I have never experienced such humiliation as when the nurse and assistant in the ER began cleaning me up prior to the doctor's exam. I realized in that moment how helpless and fragile the elderly must feel - those who are in nursing homes or even those being cared for by loved ones. To be totally dependent on others for things as personal as cleaning up your private messes, well, it's just hard. Really hard.

When the doctor entered the room and began examining me, I remember experiencing what felt like a huge gush. I recall hearing him catch his breath and say, "Um yes, there's a lot of blood and I'm seeing what appears to be products of conception". That damn term again. I guess it's supposed to sound kinder and gentler than "Okay lady, I think I see little parts and yeah, I'd say you lost the baby judging by all the carnage here..."

My husband started to cry and was saying something about us being able to try again soon. The doctor began what sounded like a textbook lecture on how nature recognizes when there's a problem and corrects mistakes when it's not meant to be. The fact that I was right around 12 weeks at this point indicated, in his opinion, that this was a case of perhaps a genetic anomaly or some other problem that would cause a baby to be unable to develop fully.

He ordered an ultrasound to check how complete the miscarriage was. As he prepared to leave the room and send in the orders for my scan, I asked him what they would do. He explained that I would - depending on the results of the ultrasound - be sent home to allow nature to take its course. I was petrified at the thought of being told to go home and lose whatever was left of my baby in the toilet. I was panicking at the realization that at this stage I might actually be able to recognize little body parts. I started to lose it. The doctor left and went to go call my OB/GYN and I was wheeled into ultrasound.

My husband was not allowed to join me in the ultrasound room. The tech who performed the scan told me I was not going to be able to see the monitor while he did his work. It was just policy. I figured it was done this way to keep hysterical moms from freaking out when they no longer saw a heartbeat on the screen. He had the sound turned off as well, so I was not able to listen for that little pock-pock-pock-pock you expect to hear.

After about five minutes of small talk and unreadable facial expressions, the ultrasound tech looked directly at me and said, "I'm not supposed to show you anything, but I think you'll want to see this," then turned the monitor to face me. There on the screen was my baby, bouncing around at the end of his umbilical cord, apparently unfazed by whatever else was going on in my temperamental uterus. The tech told me he was seeing what appeared to be a perfectly normal 12-13 week fetus, with no signs of stress and good blood flow.

The ER doctor met me back in the exam room within minutes and was stunned. He was convinced I'd been having a miscarriage and could not explain what was going on. He told me that I might still be in the very beginning stages of a miscarriage, and the next few days would be telling. I was discharged (barefoot, as I'd been brought in by ambulance and my husband never thought to bring shoes for me) and ordered to call my own doctor as soon as her office opened in the morning.

TO BE CONTINUED...

I'm Sorry, But...HUH?!?!

2009-09-03T14:13:00.003-07:00

Just one more reason why I'm grateful to be out of the classroom and no longer teaching in a public school setting.

I have always felt that politics should be kept out of the classroom. Note, I believe all US school children should learn about the political process, but I think the personal politics of a teacher have no place in the classroom. I also expected my students and their parents to treat my classroom as a politically neutral territory. I apparently did a pretty good job at this, because even now a majority of my former students (and the parents of those students) tell me they still have no idea what my political affiliation is.

Next Tuesday the President is planning to give American students a little pep talk, and already some folks are getting all twisted up inside about what the real motives of this speech are.

According to the Tampa Tribune: Jim Greer, chairman of the Florida Republican Party, said the speech would use taxpayer dollars "to spread President Obama's socialist ideology."

But again, according to the Tribune: "The president will speak directly to students around the country about the value of education and the importance of staying in school as part of his effort to dramatically cut the dropout rate," said White House spokeswoman Gannet Tseggai. "This is not a policy speech."

So, working hard, staying in school, and graduating are now part of the socialist manifesto? I don't think this sounds terribly political at all. In fact, it seems - quite possibly - the least political subject a US President could broach with school children. I'm so confused!

I'll admit, I am 24 hours post-surgery and still have codeine in my system, so maybe I'm a little fuzzy on some things, but at least I'm not the only one wondering what's really got people's knickers in a wad. Jen over at Thoughts from a Liberal Mom mulled over this same puzzle, only she was much more articulate (and likely, much less medicated) than I. Thanks Jen!

They're Growing Up Too Fast!

2009-08-23T14:33:00.003-07:00

I hate the fact that I can now no longer identify the owners of girls' shoes in my house based on size.

...and yes, I have now officially had the experience of grabbing a pair of flip-flops, heading out the door, and realizing - whilst marching up the aisles of the supermarket - that I am wearing my daughter's shoes.

This is so wrong.

Update Time

2009-08-09T11:50:00.005-07:00

A while back I posted the list below. I guess it's time for an update on my progress so far...

Below are 101 things I aim to check off my life's "to-do list" in the next 2.75 years.

May 26, 2009-February 21, 2012

Items that are italicized are in progress, bold are completed.

1. Purchase a home.
2. Go on a cruise with my husband and children.
3. Take a real vacation with just my husband.
4. Spend a "girls weekend" at a fancy resort with each of my daughters individually. (0/2)
5. Learn Haitian Kreyol well enough to hold a conversation with a native speaker.
6. Learn Hopi well enough to greet, thank, and complement my husband's grandma...without making her laugh (unless what I'm saying is supposed to, you know, actually be funny)!
7. Learn to knit.
8. Make a scrapbook for each of my daughters' elementary school years.
9. Go a whole month with no soda.
10. Take my mom to a day spa for "the works".
11. Learn to make pie crust from scratch.
12. Read "War and Peace".
13. Go back to Haiti.
14. Visit Hawaii.
15. Get back in an outrigger for regular workouts.
16. Make 3 new friends. (1/3)
17. Leave a really big tip for a harried server at a restaurant.
18. Write a letter to the corporate office of a business to compliment an employee.
19. Rent a condo somewhere fun and treat my brother's family to a weekend getaway.
20. Surprise my husband with a "kid-free" evening at home...just the two of us.
21. Take my children on road trips to three places of historical significance/noted natural beauty (i.e., Mt. Rushmore, Washington, D.C., Grand Canyon) (1/3)
22. Go back to New Orleans.
23. Pay for breakfast/coffee for the person behind me at a drive through five times. (0/5)
24. Submit a photo I've taken to National Geographic.
25. Hand over a proposal, outline, and three completed chapters of "my book" to my well-connected friend (she offered...).
26. Learn to dance.
27. Swim laps three times a week for an entire summer.
28. Get back down to my fighting weight.
29. Speak only kind words for a whole day.
30. Make beignets for breakfast.
31. Learn to say "thank you" in ten different languages I don't already know. (0/10)
32. Keep my car impeccably clean for a month.
33. Enter all my tasks and appointments into my calendar for a month.
34. Learn to sync my Blackberry with Outlook and my work calendar.
35. Purge my closet and get rid of everything I don't actually wear, seriously.
36. Give away/donate my "teacher stuff".
37. Take my kids on bike rides at least twice a week for a whole season (but this IS Phoenix, so it won't be summer).
~~38. Get my toenails painted blue with a pedicure.~~

39. Add $50 to my Kiva.org loan fund.
40. Learn how to create my own backgrounds, headers, and buttons for blogs.
41. Teach my daughters how to cook their favorite meals.
42. Make a one-of-a-kind piece of jewelry as a gift for someone.
43. Help my daughters assemble brown bag lunches for the homeless and go with them to distribute the bags.
44. Find a good translation of the Quran, read it, and decide for myself what Islam teaches.
45. Reread the Bible, novel-style, start to finish.
46. Hold a baby at a restaurant so that her mother can eat an entire meal at a relaxed pace, uninterrupted.
47. Save enough to pay cash for a minivan for my family.
48. Clear out my personal email inboxes.
49. ~~Fly First Class.~~
50. Recycle something mundane by making it into something beautiful.
51. Fully fund our emergency savings.
52. Get back into a bikini (legitimately, not obliviously).
53. Take a girls' trip with an old friend.
54. Make a snap decision and be totally at peace with going on instinct, for once.
55. Learn to bake bread from scratch.
56. Acquire the tools do do home canning.
57. Find a system of managing my coupons that is organized and efficient.
58. Visit my uncle's family in Atlanta and meet all my cousins' children.
59. Visit my other uncle in Wyoming and treat his wife to something special (because Lord knows, she so deserves it).
60. Plan a weekend with my kids, my aunt-in-law (yes, I made that term up) and her son.
61. Make peace with my mother-in-law.
62. Renew my friendship with my ex-best friend in San Francisco.
63. Spend a long weekend with my godfather and get back in touch with my faith.
64. Take a capoiera class.
65. Buy a lottery ticket and give it to a stranger.
66. Go camping.
67. Dye my hair red again.
68. Decorate one room in my house in a Caribbean colonial style.
69. Completely make over one room in my house using only things we already own, that have been given to us, found, or acquired for free (Freecycle, etc.).
70. Make a summer dress for each of my daughters.
71. Arrive early for every work commitment for a month.
72. Attend a rally or fund raising event for a cause I support.
73. Write letters every month to the child we sponsor in Uganda.
74. Write a letter to one of my elected representatives.
75. Photograph my children weekly for a year (0/52)
76. Order ten things at restaurants that I wouldn't ordinarily try. (1/10) Black Bean Burger
77. Make a list of ten people who inspire me and write them a note letting them know. (0/10)
78. Spend a whole day alone.
79. Send text messages to 15 different people with random thoughts to make them smile. (2/15)
80. Go wine tasting.
81. Take my kids skiing/snowboarding.
82. Sponsor another child through Plan USA.
83. Make a blog friend an "IRL" (in real life) friend.
84. Start painting (pictures, not walls).
85. Adopt a cat.
86. Plant a kitchen herb garden.
87. Grow heirloom tomatoes.
88. Learn to make pizza dough from scratch.
89. Can a year's supply of jam, apple pie filling, and peaches.
90. Take my son for a ride on a real fire truck.
91. Pick my own fruit at a farm.
92. Write a children's book and have my kids illustrate it.
93. Learn to use Photoshop or another photo editing software.
94. Send flowers to my mom for no reason.
95. Take my sisters-in-law out for a fun day. (0/2)
96. Be able to run 3 miles.
97. Hike South Mountain.
98. Stop and photograph ten random, funny, or interesting places while traveling for work. (1/10)
99. Host a dinner party to thank our wonderful neighbors for being...wonderful neighbors!
100. Give something I love away to someone who needs it more than I do.
101. Finish this list and think of 101 new goals!

In Between

2009-07-25T16:48:00.002-07:00

I hate the term "'tween" used in reference to those aged 8-12, or 9-13, or whatever range one means. It grates on my nerves in the same way that "play date" does.

These terms bring to mind images of Blackberry and iPhone toting supermommies syncing their Outlook calendars - jam packed with Junior's lessons, practices, meetings, and cookie sales - trying to figure out when a single moment is free so Junior can spend a few with Johnny doing kid stuff.

Not that kid stuff these days even remotely resembles what I knew as a child. But that's another post altogether.

Back to 'tween.

Short for "in between".

Not yet a teenager, but no longer a child.

In between.

Well, today my Devin had her 10th birthday party. At her request we took her and 7 companions to Build-A-Bear...you know, that place where kids choose, stuff and accessorize their own plush animals. This group had a great time, and it was so sweet to see them putting so much thought and effort into their selections.

Truly, a sweet, innocent kid activity.

Yet, during the party, there was my sweet, innocent kid...with a cell phone in her back pocket. Another of her birthday presents.

Kids don't need cell phones!

Teenagers don't want to go to Build-A-Bear!

Oh my goodness.

She is a 'tween.

UGH!

***Now don't even get me started on the whole how-creepy-is-it-stuffing-a-flaccid-shell-of-an-animal thing. I'm there! The kids love it though.

2009-07-03T12:41:00.003-07:00

Today I could be sitting at home in Phoenix, trying desperately to avoid any responsibilities that would necessitate my braving 105+ degree weather.

Instead, I'm enjoying quiet time somewhere cool and green and full of hills and valleys and mountains and hollows (er, hollers?).

Today, I am grateful to be in West Virginia...

I may never want to go back home. At least, not until November!

Fingers Are Crossed

2009-06-29T11:40:00.003-07:00

Baby #3 came home from preschool on Friday afternoon and proceeded to vomit profusely all over my house for the next 36 hours. Thank God for carpet cleaners and bleach (not in the carpet cleaner, of course).

Baby #2 woke up early this morning with an urgent need to hunch over the toilet as well. She's now paying frequent visits to bow before the porcelain throne.

Baby #1 and I have so far dodged the bullet, but I'm nervous as hell. The four of us are supposed to be boarding a cross-country flight with one layover tomorrow afternoon. The possibility of getting sick myself, while trying to shepherd my three children cross country by myself - especially when one of those three is a very active and strong-willed 21 month old boy - scares the crap out of me. No pun intended.

Make it Happen

2009-06-24T11:15:00.004-07:00

This is the message I am getting from so many different directions.

I guess it's really a kinder, gentler way of telling me to shit or get off the pot. Quit mulling over all the things I wish I could do, want to do, can't wait to do, wish I had time to do...and just DO IT.

So, my life either becomes a Mariah Carey song or a Nike commercial, but I have got to make a radical change soon.

This could get messy.

****UPDATE****

After getting yelled at by a flustered colleague this afternoon, I realize I really need to quit procrastinating and start making the next chapter in my life happen - NOW!

I'm listening...

A Little Slice of Heaven

2009-06-10T09:07:00.010-07:00

I returned to my real life in Phoenix on Monday evening. It was sheer joy to see my husband and children again. I missed them like crazy. However, I'd be lying if I didn't admit that it was a treat to spend four and a half relaxing days in Miami, reconnecting with one of my oldest friends.

Actually, let me rephrase that. One of my friends of longest duration.

In addition to renewing our connection, I also had the good fortune to make a new friend as well. Carmindy's friend Pascale was also visiting, so the three of us had a weekend filled with great food, great wine, and lots of girl talk. I can't remember the last time I did that.

My friend's house is the perfect retreat. It's in a quiet neighborhood, surrounded by tropical flowers and trees. She has created an oasis of peace, and it was dreamy to be able to spend time there.

These last two photos are of the room I stayed in. I adore the carved piece above the head of the bed. It's an astrological calendar she had imported from Myanmar. Okay, it probably cost more than my monthly salary, but it was gorgeous!

After surviving the Great South Beach Flood of 2009, we decided to stick close to home on Saturday, and enjoyed a delicious home-grilled meal. Salmon, asparagus, and a mind-boggling kale salad. I'm craving it today!

On Saturday night we did the mandatory Miami nightlife experience. I got to meet some of Carm's friend's from New York, and we had a great time. Most of the evening was spent sitting in awe of the fact that many folks in Miami are still living in the 1980s. Amazing! Amusing!

One of the highlights of the trip for me was spending the day Sunday out on a boat with Carmindy, Pascale, and two other fabulous women named Dee and Melody. Five girls, a boat, great food, cocktails, and a beautiful afternoon...dreamy!

My husband was worried about pirates. I told him we were covered.

Crazy Weather

2009-06-05T21:30:00.010-07:00

Yes, I know it's officially hurricane season, and I know that what I experienced today wasn't even close to the insanity of a true hurricane, but I got to experience wild Florida weather for sure.

The day started off beautiful and sunny, and I spent the first few hours in the pool at my friend's house.

Then we decided to head to South Beach for lunch and a dip in the ocean. By the time we finished eating at a place called The Ice Box (divine, by the way), the skies were looking a little dark, but we walked down Lincoln Road to Collins Avenue and accessed the beach by the Delano. It was looking even sketchier once we hit the sand and looked around.

My friend ran and took a 2 minute swim, then we grabbed our stuff and headed into the hotel because the storm was coming.

And was it ever.

It started with a good downpour, which soon deteriorated into gale-force winds, hail, and massive lightning and thunder. We felt pretty safe on the sheltered patio of the Delano. I got a little misted from blown rain as I sipped my Arnold Palmer and enjoyed the show. We marveled at the sheer brilliance of idiots with metal-tipped umbrellas, walking out into the storm when lightning was striking all around us.

Eventually the manager rounded up all the brave souls on the patio and ushered us into the hotel lobby area. It was getting dangerous, as palm fronds and pieces of hotels' facades were beginning to fly around. We were stranded inside the Delano for several hours because the valets refused to retrieve any of the parked vehicles, even after the worst of the storm passed. Another friend had joined us shortly before the storm hit, and was going to give us a ride back to our vehicle, but the valets wouldn't get her car.

We went outside eventually, and we saw why.

This was taken after the water had begun receding somewhat.

We eventually got the car (thank God it was an SUV) and began to make our way to my friend's vehicle.

The flooding we saw was remarkable.

This is one of my favorite pictures though...

This woman's smile and positive attitude were incredible! We called out to her and she just grinned and waved, seemingly unfazed by the situation. What an inspiration!

Upon opening the doors to my friend's car, we found several inches of water on the floor. It looks like the water levels had been high enough at one point to flood it. Her car is an SUV as well, by the way!

It took us a good 45 minutes to an hour to get out of South Beach, due to the flooding and resulting traffic back-ups. My friend decided that "survival of the fittest" was the best approach, and took advantage of her SUV's higher clearance to maneuver us around many of the snarls in traffic. Of course, this often involved driving through thigh-high pools of water and spraying everyone around us, many of whom had the car windows open. Ooops!

We made it home safely and decided to make it an order-in-and-watch-movies kind of evening.

Tomorrow's forecast?

More rain. Bring it on!

I'll Take It!

2009-06-05T08:52:00.003-07:00

Okay, so I'm here in Miami, in the home of my dear friend who is treating me to a little R&R this weekend. It may not be a week of adventure in Dominica, but I'm happy to settle for this:

Not bad, right?

Wait until you see the rest of the house...

On My Way

2009-06-04T06:38:00.002-07:00

I'm sitting at the airport, waiting for my flight to board. This break is long overdue. The week has been stressful and I'm on the verge of snapping after three years in Phoenix without a real vacation.

About six months ago, a dear friend of mine offered to take me on a girls' trip for my 40th birthday in May. We had a great week of adventure planned in Dominica, hiking to the Boiling Lake, exploring the rain forest, lounging by the pool, getting massages. I was so looking forward to the trip. Unfortunately, life got in the way and some things came up that prevented her from making any far-flung trips for the moment.

This same friend lives in New York, but has a home in Miami. She called me last week to tell me that she had worked things out with my husband so that I could come visit her in Florida for a long weekend. The nature of her work includes a lot of travel, so she used her accumulated airline miles to send me a ticket - FIRST CLASS - to Miami.

I have never flown first class...always wanted to but, come on, $2000 for a four hour plane ride?

I remember taking a trip as a child and being escorted into first class by a flight attendant in order to use the restroom. The people sitting there had these magical hot fudge sundaes, served in real glass dishes, with real silverware. I thought it was the most amazing thing I'd ever seen, and it made quite an impression on me. Ever since, I've looked enviously at those lucky folks seated at the front of the plane as I wrestle my carry on bags down the aisle on my way to a cramped coach seat.

Today I get to be one of those people.

HELL YEAH!!!

Note to Self...

2009-06-03T14:00:00.003-07:00

...when you hear something behind you that sounds like a crumpling paper bag as you seat yourself in the car, it's probably your pants ripping.

Double check before walking around Target for thirty minutes.

Just in case.

101 in 1001

2009-05-25T20:29:00.006-07:00

In case it has not already been made abundantly clear, I love reading other people's blogs. I enjoy seeing different opinions, points of view, and experiences from a variety of sources. From time to time, I'll catch an idea from a blog and decide to run with it (kind of like my last post...).

I came across a challenge on a blog I like to read. This blogger has given herself 1001 days to accomplish 101 different goals. I love this idea!

So here it goes. Below are 101 things I aim to check off my life's "to-do list" in the next 2.75 years.

May 26, 2009-February 21, 2012

Items that are italicized are in progress, ~~bold~~ are completed.

Purchase a home.
Go on a cruise with my husband and children.
Take a real vacation with just my husband.
Spend a "girls weekend" at a fancy resort with each of my daughters individually. (0/2)
Learn Haitian Kreyol well enough to hold a conversation with a native speaker.
Learn Hopi well enough to greet, thank, and complement my husband's grandma...without making her laugh (unless what I'm saying is supposed to, you know, actually be funny)!
Learn to knit.
Make a scrapbook for each of my daughters' elementary school years.
Go a whole month with no soda.
Take my mom to a day spa for "the works".
Learn to make pie crust from scratch.
Read "War and Peace".
Go back to Haiti.
Visit Hawaii.
Get back in an outrigger for regular workouts.
Make 3 new friends. (1/3)
Leave a really big tip for a harried server at a restaurant.
Write a letter to the corporate office of a business to compliment an employee.
Rent a condo somewhere fun and treat my brother's family to a weekend getaway.
Surprise my husband with a "kid-free" evening at home...just the two of us.
Take my children on road trips to three places of historical significance/noted natural beauty (i.e., Mt. Rushmore, Washington, D.C., Grand Canyon) (1/3)
Go back to New Orleans.
Pay for breakfast/coffee for the person behind me at a drive through five times. (0/5)
Submit a photo I've taken to National Geographic.
Hand over a proposal, outline, and three completed chapters of "my book" to my well-connected friend (she offered...).
Learn to dance.
Swim laps three times a week for an entire summer.
Get back down to my fighting weight.
Speak only kind words for a whole day.
Make beignets for breakfast.
Learn to say "thank you" in ten different languages I don't already know. (0/10)
Keep my car impeccably clean for a month.
Enter all my tasks and appointments into my calendar for a month.
Learn to sync my Blackberry with Outlook and my work calendar.
Purge my closet and get rid of everything I don't actually wear, seriously.
Give away/donate my "teacher stuff".
Take my kids on bike rides at least twice a week for a whole season (but this IS Phoenix, so it won't be summer).
Get my toenails painted blue with a pedicure.
Add $50 to my Kiva.org loan fund.
Learn how to create my own backgrounds, headers, and buttons for blogs.
Teach my daughters how to cook their favorite meals.
Make a one-of-a-kind piece of jewelry as a gift for someone.
Help my daughters assemble brown bag lunches for the homeless and go with them to distribute the bags.
Find a good translation of the Quran, read it, and decide for myself what Islam teaches.
Reread the Bible, novel-style, start to finish.
Hold a baby at a restaurant so that her mother can eat an entire meal at a relaxed pace, uninterrupted.
Save enough to pay cash for a minivan for my family.
Clear out my personal email inboxes.

~~Fly First Class.~~
Recycle something mundane by making it into something beautiful.
Fully fund our emergency savings.
Get back into a bikini (legitimately, not obliviously).
Take a girls' trip with an old friend.
Make a snap decision and be totally at peace with going on instinct, for once.
Learn to bake bread from scratch.
Acquire the tools do do home canning.
Find a system of managing my coupons that is organized and efficient.
Visit my uncle's family in Atlanta and meet all my cousins' children.
Visit my other uncle in Wyoming and treat his wife to something special (because Lord knows, she so deserves it).
Plan a weekend with my kids, my aunt-in-law (yes, I made that term up) and her son.
Make peace with my mother-in-law.

~~Renew my friendship with my ex-best friend in San Francisco.~~

Spend a long weekend with my godfather and get back in touch with my faith.
Take a capoiera class.
Buy a lottery ticket and give it to a stranger.
Go camping.
Dye my hair red again.
Decorate one room in my house in a Caribbean colonial style.
Completely make over one room in my house using only things we already own, that have been given to us, found, or acquired for free (Freecycle, etc.).
Make a summer dress for each of my daughters.
Arrive early for every work commitment for a month.
Attend a rally or fund raising event for a cause I support.
Write letters every month to the child we sponsor in Uganda.
Write a letter to one of my elected representatives.
Photograph my children weekly for a year (0/52)
Order ten things at restaurants that I wouldn't ordinarily try. (0/10)
Make a list of ten people who inspire me and write them a note letting them know. (0/10)
Spend a whole day alone.
Send text messages to 15 different people with random thoughts to make them smile. (1/15)
Go wine tasting.
Take my kids skiing/snowboarding.
Sponsor another child through Plan USA.
Make a blog friend an "IRL" (in real life) friend.
Start painting (pictures, not walls).
Adopt a cat.
Plant a kitchen herb garden.
Grow heirloom tomatoes.
Learn to make pizza dough from scratch.
Can a year's supply of jam, apple pie filling, and peaches.
Take my son for a ride on a real fire truck.
Pick my own fruit at a farm.
Write a children's book and have my kids illustrate it.
Learn to use Photoshop or another photo editing software.
Send flowers to my mom for no reason.
Take my sisters-in-law out for a fun day. (0/2)
Be able to run 3 miles.
Hike South Mountain.
Stop and photograph ten random, funny, or interesting places while traveling for work.
Host a dinner party to thank our wonderful neighbors for being...wonderful neighbors!
Give something I love away to someone who needs it more than I do.
Finish this list and think of 101 new goals!

This was so hard! I spent over a week on this post. I feel inspired and motivated, and most of all excited about the future. I've got a lot to do. Time to get busy!

Still here...

2009-05-25T15:06:00.002-07:00

I have been hard at work on a new post for over a week. Once I get it published, you'll see why it took so long.

In the mean time, I wanted to send some traffic here. It's a blog called "Peace in the Pandemonium", written by Jen. She just published her 600th post, and in honor of that accomplishment she is hosting a giveaway.

About 11 months ago, Jen had another giveaway that I won. I was not prepared for how good the goodies were going to be. Jen knows how to pack a great goody box, for sure!

Head on over to Jen's blog and check out her new giveaway contest. Maybe you'll win some fun treats too!

My Five

2009-05-02T23:08:00.006-07:00

I've been made aware of a great "project" out there:

"The Noticer Project is a worldwide movement to "notice" the five most influential people in your life! Noticing those five people can be as private (just a letter or email) or as public (posting to your Facebook page or joining The Noticer Project Facebook group) as you choose, but the movement is meant to encourage us to step outside our busy schedules and avoid waiting until a wedding, graduation or even a funeral to take notice of the special, influential people in our lives. By noticing those who have made a difference for you, you not only acknowledge their contribution, but you may gain a new perspective on your own journey. If you are noticed, you are encouraged to continue the movement by 'noticing' five people in your life!"

Okay, I'm game. But seriously, am I only limited to five individuals?

Mrs. Elaine Nutt: One of the most intimidating teachers at Rosary High School, she was famous for busting anyone with chewing gum as well as for being a tough math teacher. I was terrified of her. Then, I ended up having her for not one, but TWO periods in tenth grade. She challenged the heck out of me in Geometry, and made me fall in love with the subject. I still can't fathom why anyone doesn't adore doing proofs or can't recall when to use ASA...she made it like breathing for me. Mrs. Nutt was also my teacher for Western Civilization that year. I know she was forced to take that extra period, and was probably not happy about it, but she did a fabulous job. She made me feel smart, and her encouragement and structure helped me learn confidence and responsibility in my schooling.
Uyen Nguyen: This amazing woman moved in with my family when I was about 5 years old. She was a refugee from Vietnam, and she had lost everything. Uyen was educated, beautiful, and classy as hell. I can't even begin to imagine all she went through on the journey that led to her staying for almost two years in our guest room. I only saw her cry once the whole time she stayed with us. She was a rock. I adored her delicious cha giao and the elegant ao dais she wore. To this day she remains, in my mind, the ultimate example of a true lady.
Arlington E. "Dick" Whitman: My Pop-Pop. Probably the one grandparent I was closest to, but ironically the only one not related to me by blood. Dick Whitman was my mom's stepfather, and had been married to my grandma when my mom was in her early teens. He was the most stabilizing influence in my mom's life, and later became a similarly steadying influence in mine. He was generous to a fault, hardworking, and funny as can be. I loved every minute he spent with us when I was growing up. I am so glad he lived long enough to be at my wedding, and to hold my firstborn child. I miss him like crazy.
Matthew Moreno: My evil twin. Matt proved himself a true friend my last year of college. He fed me, kept me laughing, allowed me to hide my car at his place, and never passed judgment, even when he knew I was dating a serious loser. I was trying desperately to finish school before tuition hikes the next fall, taking double-overtime course loads (24-26 units a term...crazy), and had no time for a job. My dad was great about putting money on my meal card for the dining hall, but the money didn't always last through the month, and I hated asking for more. There were many times Matt would call when I had not eaten that day. The conversation often sounded something like this: (Matt) "What are you doing?" (Me) "Oh, studying..." (Matt) "Did you have dinner already?" (Me) "Umm, yeah sure, you know, went to the cafeteria..." (Matt) "Bullshit. Come over. I'm making chorizo and eggs. You can study here." Matt never mentioned the fact that his grocery bill had to have been a good 20% higher as a result of keeping me fed that year. He also never got on my case about the fact that I'd racked up so many parking tickets on campus that I couldn't park my car at the dorm for fear of it being booted. He just told me to park it at his place. No judgment. Finally, to this day I have no idea how he kept his mouth shut about the fact that my then-boyfriend was a huge dud. Matt demonstrated the meaning of true friendship with no strings attached. He is still one of the few people I trust without question, and know that if I called on him for anything, he'd be there in an instant.
My husband: He's put up with me for over a decade. Anyone who knows me can attest to the fact that's a herculean accomplishment in itself. He's an awesome father and a patient, supportive spouse. I am a lucky girl.

Now it's your turn. Who are your five?

Tax Refunds...Put 'Em to Work!

2009-04-30T19:41:00.008-07:00

For the first time in a very long while, we received a fairly sizable refund from Uncle Sam this year. (I wish the same could be said for our state return, but oh well...)

We paid bills, socked some cash into savings (still hoping to make that new home purchase this summer), and treated the kids to some extra junk food while traveling to California last weekend.

Most significantly though, we were able to throw some financial support behind two of my favorite organizations: Kiva and Plan USA.

My daughters are excited about our family's sponsorship of a boy named Henry in Uganda, and also about being part of a group of individual donors helping to fund a microloan to a cattle farming co-op (also in Uganda).

You know what they say about teaching a man to fish...

Here's the canned blurb from the Kiva website:

I wanted to let you know about Kiva (www.kiva.org), a non-profit that allows you to lend as little as $25 to a specific low-income entrepreneur across the globe.

You choose who to lend to - whether a baker in Afghanistan, a goat herder in Uganda, a farmer in Peru, a restaurateur in Cambodia, or a tailor in Iraq - and as they repay their loan, you get your money back. It’s a powerful and sustainable way to empower someone right now to lift themselves out of poverty.

...and the one from Plan USA:

Plan is a global partnership of caring people founded in 1937 to bring hope and help to the world’s poorest children.

Plan began as a child sponsorship organization. Today, we are one of the oldest and largest organizations of our kind—our grassroots, self-help programs assist more than 10 million children and their families in poor communities around the world.
We are proudly private, not for profit, and respectful of local religions and cultures—we have no agenda other than helping kids.

I love that both organizations emphasize self-sufficiency.

Perhaps more importantly, I love that both have a no-religious-strings-attached approach. I wholeheartedly applaud the wonderful works done across the globe by so many church-affiliated groups, but it's just not for me. I have a major problem with the concept of aid coming with religious conditions. Somehow it just doesn't sit right with me, any more than it would if I expected someone to become a Democrat or join my book club just because I helped them out of a sticky situation.

Simplistic? Perhaps.

I know a whole lot of evangelicals who would argue that feeding the soul is more important than feeding the body, that salvation in the next life is more critical than saving a starving child in this one.

Who am I to say they're incorrect?

It's just not my thing.

I say feed the kid, build the clinic, teach the mom to read, help the goat farmer get an extra couple acres of grazing land...do something, strings or not.

Who Knew?

2009-04-23T17:42:00.003-07:00

It's been a long time since I purchased a greeting card. I have software on my computer that allows my family to create our own, personalized cards for special occasions. I think they look as nice as anything store-bought, and I like that they come from the heart. We enjoy looking for just the right quote or piece of poetry to include, importing photos or clip art, and making something fun and unique.

Well, I was running short on time preparing for our trip to California this weekend. While out picking up a final gift for my nephew, I realized it would save some time and effort if I went ahead and picked up a card at the store I was visiting.

Then I learned an ugly truth.

I have apparently been overlooking momentous, card-worthy occasions in the lives of my family, friends and neighbors for all these years!

You see, they actually make greeting cards for all of the following occasions:

losing a tooth
getting a cat
potty training
earning a Girl Scout badge
scoring a point in a ballgame
getting a dog

...as well as a plethora of other random occasions deemed notable enough to merit dropping $1.99 or more to commemorate.

So, dear friends, I hope you can find it in your hearts to forgive the fact that I've neglected to adequately recognize all those teeth your kiddos lost. I apologize with all my heart for failing to congratulate your children for crapping on the toilet - with a card. My gosh, how could I have missed the chance to let you know - on paper - how awesome and special you are for adopting a fur-baby or nabbing that sewing patch from your creepy scout leader?

I honestly didn't know those were Hallmark occasions!

Going Back to Cali

2009-04-23T09:20:00.004-07:00

I am looking forward to an all-too-brief visit to California this weekend. My nephew is being baptized on Saturday, and we are going! This will be the first time since we moved away that my whole family will go back to Huntington Beach. I have gone back several times with the kids, and a couple times by myself, and my husband has gone several times by himself, but never all together. That's right, in almost three years, we have never found the time to return as a family before now.

Funny, I always got such a guilt trip about the fact that, when we lived there we only made it out to Arizona for whole-family visits to my in-laws a few times a year...

...but waiting THREE YEARS to see my family is not a big deal, apparently.

Sorry, is the resentment seeping off the page searing your monitor?

I'm taking deep breaths and trying to focus on the positive. It's been too long coming, but we are going - as a family - to spend a day or so with my parents and my brother's family and his in-laws. For that, I am so grateful. I am even more excited because, for the last 16 months, my mother hasn't been in California herself. She's been in West Virginia dealing with family business. My daughters have missed their "Sugarbear" so much, and she has not even seen my son since he was three months old, so we're way overdue for some family time.

Finally, we'll all be in the same place for a precious few hours on Saturday!

100 Degrees and No Sugar

2009-04-20T12:39:00.003-07:00

...makes for a very crabby girl.

The days of blast furnace heat have arrived once again. As a good friend of mine said, this is "divorce weather". I don't like the heat.

At all.

If I had known how inaccurate those cost-of-living comparison figures were before we moved to Phoenix, I never would have moved here. I hate it here. I truly hate it. I have tried for almost three years to see beauty in the desert. Nope, it's just brown and dusty and ugly. With scorpions. Ugh!

It is not even May, and my air conditioner is cranked. It will remain so for at least five to six months.

I am also on a very strict diet at the moment which eliminates all refined sugar and flour and grain, in the hopes of getting my blood sugar stabilized and killing off a proliferation of digestive yeast.

Heat + no sugar = cranky pants.

To Hell and Back...

2009-04-16T19:17:00.007-07:00

...or actually, just Sanders, Arizona.

Don't get me wrong. Sanders is a perfectly nice place. Perfectly nice if you like really small towns, just off the reservation. As in, a town with a teeny-tiny little post office, a school or two, a "diner" that consists of a trailer with a couple additions and not-so-great service, and a whole bunch of super nice residents.

And no, there was no sarcasm implied in that last sentence. Everyone I've met in Sanders was very nice (except the server at the diner, that is).

It's just that Sanders is so far from Phoenix, and the nearest decent motel to Sanders is still over 50 miles away. Add to that the fact that Sanders schools - where I worked today - observe Daylight Saving Time since their students primarily live on the Navajo Reservation, and the rest of Arizona does not.

Confused?

I had to be in Sanders at 8:30 this morning, which was really 7:30 for me, and I had to drive an hour to get there. So I had to leave at 6:30 to drive an hour and arrive there at 8:30... just too early for me!

Add to that the fact that I do not sleep well away from home, and the fact that I drove through insane weather conditions to get to Holbrook last night. 50-60+ mph winds, snow, blowing dust...it was an adventure to say the least. Once again though, my good old Maxima was a tank and got me there and back safely. 200K+ miles on the odometer, dents and dings, stained carpet and all, Max is my hero.

I added another bizarre Arizona place name to my list today. Check this out, from beautiful downtown Holbrook:

Photo credit: Tristan Tom (http://www.flickr.com/photos/mediahound/473245947/)

What the hell happened here?

One bonus of this work trip was the opportunity to make a new acquaintance. While stuffing my face with the complementary breakfast at my motel, I enjoyed a nice conversation with a fascinating woman I met. A retired journalist from Connecticut, she now enjoys painting, traveling and working on behalf of an amazing organization that supports animal shelters. I look forward to getting to know her better online, through her art and her blogs. It seems as though she's led an intriguing and adventure-filled life!

Her art blog is HERE and her project supporting shelter animals is HERE.

Carrie, it was a pleasure meeting you. Thanks for the company!

Don't Know How I Feel About This...

2009-04-10T10:14:00.008-07:00

This week I was confronted with two dilemmas. I am still trying to process my feelings about both. Ugh, it's so confusing!

First, on Wednesday night my husband and I attended parent orientation at the middle school our firstborn child will attend in the fall. Holy hell, when did my baby girl become an adolescent??!!! As we sat in the auditorium of this enormous, cavernous, immense, and overwhelming facility (that absolutely dwarfs the high school I attended, by the way...), listening to the administrators give a breakdown of the schedules, options, policies, and whatnot, I started to cry.

Yes, I was the blubbering mom in the back of the crowd. I'm sure my husband was mortified when I started tearing up, mumbling "I don't know if I'm ready for this."

This sweet little baby girl...

...is now this young lady.

Crap, that was too soon!

Oh, and her "baby" sister...

follows just one year later...

Sooooo not ready for this. Trying to breathe...

Dilemma #2 is one of a more ethical nature. First a little background though...my husband is a full-blooded, enrolled member of one of the Native American tribes indigenous to the state where we live. Growing up, there were many, many times his family had to make do with very little. The poverty present on Indian reservations throughout North America cannot be overstated. (Those "casino tribes" are the exception by the way, and my husband's tribe is opposed to gaming for ethical and spiritual reasons, so don't even try and go there...).

Anyway, several charities and churches provide assistance to children and families on the Rez. At Christmas time, gifts from Toys for Tots may be some of the only presents a child there receives. A box of staples from a charitable organization often means a family gets to eat dinner tonight when otherwise they might not. Serious stuff.

So, how does this pose a dilemma for me? Well, for the third time since we moved back to this state, my mother-in-law (who does live on the Rez) picked up donated items for our family...two huge boxes of canned and dried foods, toiletries, books for children, paper goods, cosmetics, etc. this time. She picked up a similar bunch of donations on our behalf last year, and also a bunch of Toys for Tots items for our kids at the Holidays.

We do not live on the Rez. We live in a solidly middle-class suburb, in a comfortable home with running water and electricity. We do not rely on a wood stove for heat in the winter, and we don't have to hike down the side of a mesa to get to the outhouse when nature calls.

I don't think the generous folks who donated canned food, toys, and personal care items had my family in mind.

To be fair, there have been times when money was tight. Painfully tight. As in trip-to-the-foodbank-tight. We've been there. It sucks. I hope life never puts us back there again.

We have also made a point of being the people who donate to the local resource center. We know the need is real, and we feel it's important to do what we can to help those whose need is greater than ours.

(CVS certainly helps in this department, by the way, but that could be a whole post of its own.)

I know my mother-in-law's intentions were good, but I am extremely uncomfortable receiving these items. I feel guilty accepting them, but don't know how to decline without offending my MIL. These kinds of donations are such a part of life where they are from that I don't think I could explain my feelings without hurting hers or insulting her.

I packed up the boxes and sent them on to my brother-in-law and his wife, who live down the street from us. They are actually in a pinch at the moment, being one of the many families who's experienced first-hand layoffs and unemployment. I figure they could use it, and if not, they will hopefully forward the items to the local resource center.

What to do, what to do... I just don't want to be in this position again.

Oh, and I don't want my babies to grow up so fast either!

CVS Rocks!

2009-04-05T13:25:00.003-07:00

Another successful foray into the happy hunting grounds that are my local CVS. Guess how much I paid for today's haul...go on, guess.

They paid me $19.95 to take all this home!

2 Huggies Supreme Diapers Jumbo Packs @ $10 each (w/2 $3 off coupons)
1 Johnson & Johnson Baby Shampoo @ $3 ($1 off)
1 Johnson & Johnson Baby Bath @ $3 ($1 off)
3 Olay Body Wash @ $7 each (w/3 $2 off coupons)
1 Olay Quench Lotion @ 7 ($2 off)
1 Cover Girl Tru-Blend Foundation @ $11 ($1 off)
1 Cover Girl Tru-Blend Blush @ $11 ($1 off)
1 Colgate Maxfresh Toothpaste @ 2.99 ($0.75 off)

Total before coupons and tax: $78.99

I used a $15 off $75 purchase coupon first, used a $10 off any $20 cosmetics purchase coupon, then applied the coupons above for an after coupon total of $35.24. I used $24.55 in Extra Bucks, so my pre-tax total was $9.69 + $2.36 tax for a grand total out of pocket of $12.05.

In addition, I earned $32 in new Extra Bucks, so I effectively earned $19.95 today while stocking up on things my family needs and uses.

CVS, I love you!

On a Lighter Note

2009-04-01T15:09:00.004-07:00

After yesterday's heavy video, I thought it would be nice to ease up a bit and bring on some laughs.

My friend Lyn posted this on her Facebook page and my daughters were blown away. Their comments blew me away.

P: "They have way too much time on their hands."

D: "They need girlfriends!"

I guess this is what happens when Welshmen have time to kill and sheep to spare.

It's Not Just a Sticker on My Car

2009-03-31T11:15:00.003-07:00

Heavy stuff...

Please take a moment to watch. It's not about politics, it's about whether or not we can continue to stand by and do nothing.

That sticker is not coming off my car until this stops.

Maybe They Just Don't Wash Them!

2009-03-29T15:22:00.006-07:00

Spring is here, and Spring Cleaning is in full force at my house. This weekend has been productive, and I'm thrilled with the results. There's just one thing that's bothering me a bit. It seems that folks in the greater metropolitan area where we live do not have as much use for coin operated laundries as did people in Southern California.

Let me be clear. I know that coin laundries are often associated with neighborhoods that have a large percentage of renters, or near college campuses, or in poorer areas. The part of CA where we lived was none of the above. We lived in Orange County (and no, there was never a "THE" before "O.C."), and one could find a nice laundromat at almost any major intersection.

When trying to locate a coin laundry in our current location, these were the results we found:I don't want to get too detailed about our exact address, but suffice it to say that we live in the general area of that map where there's not a single laundromat for miles and miles. What's up with that?

Now we have our own washer and dryer. Everyday laundry is not the issue. I'm talking about something very specific...washing pillows, comforters, and heavy blankets.

Am I to assume that everyone living south of the 202 and west of I-17 has their own industrial size washer and dryer, capable of cleaning king-sized duvets and pillows? Are we the only folks in the East Valley who don't cheer at the thought of having to drive 20 minutes to wash our larger bedding items?

Here's a thought: the part of the greater Phoenix area where we live includes the cities of Mesa and Gilbert, strong LDS communities. Does the Mormon Church have communal laundry facilities for its members? I know they've got fantastic canning and preserving get-ups, but if they've got secret, members-only laundromats I may have to start talking seriously to those sweet young men who stop by on their bicycles!

Here's the other possibility..

Maybe people in Phoenix just don't wash their quilts, blanket, and pillows.

Can you say "dust mites"?

Eeeeeeewwwwww!

***For the record, we DID wash our blankets and pillows today. Rather, my husband did. I made him drive miles and miles to the nearest laundromat because it had to happen...we DO wash our bedding!***

The Ultimate Stickiness

2009-03-19T23:58:00.005-07:00

Ok, I started this blog over a year ago because I was really feeling stuck. I was not happy in my job, I didn't (and still don't) like where we live, and my life circumstances had taken me to a very lonely and isolated place. I was so busy just getting through each day that I could never find time for myself, let alone my friends or outside interests.

I went back and read some of my posts from the past year and can't help but feel thankful for all the ways things have improved. There have been some major bumps along the way, but overall I think I've done a fairly good job of living up to my blog's title.

With one exception...

One huge, suffocating issue that keeps me feeling more "stuck" than anything else (now that I ditched my teaching gig)...

Home ownership. Or more precisely, my inability to get us into a home of our own. Our timing has been famously off for the past ten years. It's been a series of missed opportunities and risks not taken.

I have beaten myself up for a decade over the fact that my children have yet to experience the simple joy of picking out a paint color for their bedrooms because, you know, we're just renting.

As a teacher, I often overheard colleagues make comments about this family, or that child. How little Patrick is below grade level and struggling and oh, what do you expect, they're renters...comments that unintentionally lump all non-home-owning parents into one big group of undereducated, ignorant losers who don't read with their children or support their educations. These were coworkers and friends who I love dearly, but whose comments sometime really stung. They reminded me of all the ways that I - with my Master's degree and full time job - felt like just another loser parent.

Spending most of the past ten years in one of the costliest real estate markets in the nation did not help. Neither did the fact that I was a teacher (with massive student loans hanging over me), and my husband was a social worker (ditto the loans for him as well). Two well-educated, hardworking, criminally underpaid professionals trying to make a difference in the lives of others. Yeah, we couldn't buy a house in California. Losers.

We relocated to Arizona in 2006, in the hopes of finding ourselves in a more affordable situation. It was a bit of a mistake. Again...bad timing. We hit the very top of the housing market with the timing of our move.

Here's where it gets good though.

Something kept us from pulling the trigger on purchasing a home in 2006. A gut feeling perhaps? A nagging voice in the backs of our heads that said this was not a good idea? Yes, it was something like that.

Thank God we did not!

The market tanked in a bigger way here than just about anywhere in the country. If we had purchased in 2006, we'd be so upside down on a mortgage it would be scary. I guess someone was looking out for us.

So now here we are, with a favorable market and a great loan option available to us thanks to my husband's status as an enrolled member of a Federally recognized Native American tribe (thank you Section 184!). We are approved!

Now the fun begins. We want to take a few more weeks to clean up some loose ends with old medical bills that were misreported to the credit bureau in order to guarantee we get the lowest possible rate, but soon we will be shopping for a home of our own!

YIPPEE!!!

"Not me!" Monday

2009-03-16T11:35:00.009-07:00

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

(For those of you Not Me! Monday veterans I beg you, be patient. I am a newbie. The learning curve is steep and my sleep reserves are low. Is there some sort of grace period for first-timers...?)

This week I did not decide to leave my son's hopelessly overgrown, bushy hair uncut for just a few more days, in order to camouflage both the bruise on his hairline he got from falling off the back porch (Friday) and the goose egg on his right eyebrow from whacking his forehead on the corner of my desk (Sunday). I am not worried about strangers at CVS calling Child Protective Services on me because he clearly looks abused and neglected.

I did not go visit an ailing neighbor in the hospital on Wednesday primarily because, five days into Spring Break, I really needed a break of my own from my darling children. I simply went because I appreciate my wonderful neighbor and only had her needs at heart!

I did not do a happy dance when my husband reminded me that he would be camping with his Fathers' Group on Saturday night in support of the group members participating in the O'odham Unity Run. I mean, I would never be thrilled at the idea of a night with my Cal-King bed all to myself, with no snoring. I adore my husband and feel as though there is no oxygen when he leaves the room...

While my husband was away from Saturday morning until Sunday afternoon, I did not rely entirely on take-out food for lunch and dinner. I would never feed my children anything but the most natural, organic, healthy and wholesome foods. Even our drinking water is 100% pure organic raindrops, collected by 100% organic fairies from 100% organic lily leaves. I did not experience some strange flashback to my college days, when I was entirely too lazy to cook for myself.

Nope, not me!

Love it, love it LOVE IT!!!

2009-03-16T10:12:00.004-07:00

All this for $1.62...and they gave me $17.98 to spend next time! I so love my CVS.

Irish Spring Body Wash: $4.99-$0.50 coupon
Colgate Max White Toothpaste: $2.99-$0.75 coupon
2 Dove Deodorants: $7.00-(2)$1.00 coupons
Dry Idea Deodorant:$2.99-$2.00 coupon
2 Dove Hair Care products: $8.00-(2)$1.50 coupons
Bic Soleil razor refills: $6.99-$2.00 coupon

So, my total was $22.71 after coupons, but I also had a CVS coupon for $5 off my $30+ purchase (which this qualified for, since I gave the $5 off coupon first - before the other coupons brought down my total). Now I was at $17.71. I had $17 in Extra Bucks from previous purchases to use, so that brought my total after taxes to $1.62!

The best part is I earned an additional $17.98 in Extra Bucks to spend next time, so it's almost like they paid me $16.36 to buy this stuff.

Now I need to assemble another box of stuff to take to the Family Resource Center. I'm stockpiling so much free and almost-free stuff from CVS, we're running out of room. Time to donate again!

I Challenge YOU!!!

2009-03-14T13:36:00.002-07:00

Ashley threw this one out there on her blog, so being the joiner that I am I had to jump on board. It also seemed like a good way to break my "blogger's block".

Making handcrafted items is a dying art, but they are so fun to make & get! So, here's a little game to encourage the handcrafting to live & thrive!! The first {5} people to leave a comment on this post will receive, at some point during the year, a super-duper handmade gift from me. What it will be and when it will arrive is a total surprise! The catch is that you must participate as well-before you leave your comment here, write up (or copy & paste as I did!) a pay it forward post on your blog to keep the fun going. Then come back, let me know you're going to play, and sit back and anticipate the arrival of your gift! Remember that only the first FIVE comments will receive a gift from me, so be quick!

This offer does have some restrictions and limitations: 1. I make no guarantees that you will like what I make! 2. It will be done this year (hopefully sooner rather than later.) 3. You will have no clue what it is going to be.

C'mon, you know you wanna play!

Funk

2009-01-31T22:04:00.002-07:00

Work: busy
Family: recycling a cold for weeks
House: needs cleaning
Dog: sleeping
Friends: changing, growing, fading, lost, found, same, different
Me: wistful, anxious, hopeful, tired, need to shake this mood

More Good Stuff

2009-01-11T10:16:00.004-07:00

Things are slowly but steadily improving around here. I'm still enjoying my job (as long as I'm not getting speeding tickets), and have recently added another bullet to my resume.

A few years ago, I began doing copy editing for a friend of mine who publishes a monthly online newsletter for her business. She recently forwarded me an email from a friend of hers. This friend has a friend (stay with me here folks) who has an online lifestyle magazine and needed a copy editor. She is Italian-Brazilian, a brilliant photographer and artist, and very creative. The challenge she faces is the fact that English is the 5th or 6th language she learned. So, although she has wonderful ideas and stories, she struggles with fluency in her writing. Previous copy editors had a habit of changing her writing so much that she felt it was no longer her own.

This has turned out to be a good fit for me. A lifetime surrounded by friends and neighbors from many different countries, and a decade working with students (some of whom were struggling to read and write in English) has given me a level of comfort and confidence that enables me to feel like I "get" what my client is trying to say in her writing. I can clarify her work and give it better fluency without changing her unique voice.

I have to admit, however, that she lives in a very different world than my own. Check it out at joellelifestyle.com and keep in mind that I have only recently acquired this gig, so posts written prior to the new year have not been touched by my hands!

Holy Cow, I'm In Trouble Now!

2009-01-11T10:06:00.003-07:00

I've been sucked into the vortex that is Facebook. Nobody told me that within 15 minutes of signing up and accepting a couple "friend" requests from folks on my email contact list that I'd be bombarded with reminders of my past. High school acquaintances I haven't seen in two decades are suddenly back on my radar. Cousins with whom I've lost touch have popped back into my life. I love it...but it's kind of overwhelming!

There are people out there who know things about me. They can tell stories about my purple hair and nose ring. They remember nights in college that I might not remember, and the tales that go along with some of those (mis)adventures. I may have opened my own personal Pandora's Box.

Oh, what the hell. I've really got nothing to hide, just some bad fashion choices (hello, can you say "The Eighties"?) bad hairdos (or don'ts), and bad boyfriends (nobody better post photos of me with Alan).

Wow. That was a LOT of parentheses!

Has This Happened To You?

2009-01-04T15:26:00.004-07:00

I lost something very important (no, not the 25 pounds I swore to lose a while back, darn it!). I lost a flash drive containing all the work I've done for my job over the past month, as well as the documents needed to complete said work. This means I can't even pull a couple all-nighters and recreate the work I've done, since I don't have any of the stuff I need to do so. I am in deep doo-doo!

My sweet father came to visit over the holidays, and did a wonderful job entertaining my 15 month old son. He spent quite a bit of time making sure Little Man understood and mastered the use and functionality of zippers by demonstrating on his camera bag. Little Man got it...too well. He has since kept busy unzipping purses, computer bags, and anything else containing valuable or important items. He then, raccoon-like, relocates these items. My Burt's Bees lip balm was found in the cupboard where the toaster and coffeemaker reside, and my car keys turned up under the downstairs bathroom sink, next to the panty liners and extra tubes of toothpaste.

He has not figured out how to flush the toilet (yet), so I can rule out that possibility for now. Still, the vanishing flash drive has been AWOL for more than 72 hours...not good!

***UPDATE***
AWOL flash drive has been located...thank heavens!!!

Time Flies

2008-12-29T13:18:00.003-07:00

Is it really just a few days from 2009? How on Earth does that happen? It's true what they say...the older one gets, the faster it goes.

Wow!

Is It Just Me...

2008-12-09T09:11:00.004-07:00

or is this grammatical error really annoying?

A free hash browns?

I'm not quite sure how to correct it though. How about these possibilities:

Get free hash browns... (maybe implies an unlimited amount)
Get a free hash brown...(can hash browns be singular?)
Get a free order/side of hash browns...(the best option in my book)

The more I type this, the more I realize "hash browns" is a really weird name...

I need to quit obsessing about corporate grammar and get back to work!

An Open Letter to Mr. Sign Spinner

2008-12-06T13:01:00.003-07:00

Dear Mr. Sign Spinner,

After many months of observation and careful consideration, I have decided to write to you. You see, I admire your work ethic, your energy, and your motivation. The economy stinks, and so many people are out of work. I know you probably consider yourself fortunate to have a job that allows you to pay for that college tuition or perhaps just earn some extra beer money for Friday night.

I see you there, standing on the street corner, in 100 degree Phoenix weather. I admire your stamina and endurance. You are the marathon runner of the advertising world. I marvel at your energy, and especially at your ability to grab a swig of Gatorade while maintaining your sign's constant motion. Amazing!

The profession of sign spinning has apparently evolved over the past five years. Back in the early years of the 21st century, your predecessors would stand in their assigned locations and hold their signs. The arrows would always point toward the business/service/apartment complex being advertised. Sign spinners, circa 2002, might occasionally dig deep and find a little burst of enthusiasm that enabled the rocking back and forth of their signs. Look out!

Nowadays, your job description apparently includes something along the lines of the following:

Must possess demonstrated ability to spin, flip, toss, and catch advertising paraphernalia and keep said material in a constant state of motion. Candidate must be able to ensure passersby remain completely ignorant as to the exact location of sponsor's business. The ideal candidate has the ability to meet a minimum spins-per-second (SPS) ratio so as to prevent the actual reading of sign in hand.

Mr. Sign Spinner, I really admire your flair for the job. Don't get me wrong, it is not my intention to denigrate your position in any way. You seem like a nice and certainly hard-working kid. Kudos to you for taking an honest day's work rather than choosing to deal drugs. I just have to ask that you please, please consider the possibility that I might actually want to read the sign you are flipping, tossing, spinning, and rolling across your back and weaving between your legs! Heck, if I get a chance to read it perhaps I might then want to know in which direction your employer's business is located!

The JC Penney Outlet Store is closing? All items are 40-70% off? Really? Where??!! I might not be from this part of town and know where the Outlet is, so if you're advertising a great deal on something I need...you just lost a potential customer. You see, I couldn't read your sign, nor could I tell which way it was supposed to be pointing.

Oh well...

Finally!

2008-12-03T08:35:00.004-07:00

For the first time in at least five years...ten bucks' worth of gas is actually enough to get me through the week! Woo hoo!!

Amazing Opportunity, Great Causes

2008-12-01T23:41:00.003-07:00

I love a good giveaway as much as the next girl. I am also always on the lookout for opportunities to give back/do something/contribute somehow. Well, thanks to MckMama's website, I get to do both!

Please visit her website and check out the amazing photography prize package she is offering one lucky winner, while raising money for several worthwhile causes. Want to know more? Click on the "Rebel For A Cause" button on my blog and find out all you need to know to get on board!

I Laughed So Hard, I Cried!

2008-11-29T22:22:00.003-07:00

I have a new, absolute favorite blog! I stumbled across this site, thanks to a post on Domestically Disabled Girl's blog. I was belly-laughing so hard my husband thought I'd lost my mind. I had tears streaming down my face. Oh my gosh, I needed that kind of laughter tonight!

Enjoy!

http://cakewrecks.blogspot.com/

I Don't Get It!

2008-11-25T12:12:00.002-07:00

Open-toed boots...what's the point?
People who can't pick their dog's mess up off my front yard...did you not SEE him squatting while you stood there? Can I give you a baggie next time? Knock on my door...please!
Parents who swear they want to keep their kids innocent as long as possible, then hire DJs for their daughter's 13th birthday and think it's "cute" when she and 30 of her adolescent friends all sing, er, scream along to the lyrics, "I kissed a girl and I liked it..."
Showing an explicit trailer for a very scary horror movie immediately in front of a feature film geared toward 'tween girls...seriously, what are they thinking?
Excommunicating one church member for putting together a very innocent "beefcake" calendar, but practically mandating your congregation support the books and films of another member who writes about friggin' vampires...as heroes??!!
Fruitcake...'nuf said!

Help Me Choose, Win Jewelry!

2008-11-18T22:16:00.007-07:00

Seriously folks, I know my last post bordered on pathetic. Poor me, trying to figure out where to take a dream vacation, right?

I need help, and I'm willing to resort to bribery in order to solicit as much input as possible. There's a genius idea out there somewhere, I just know it! In the spirit of fun (and bribery, of course) I'm hosting a giveaway...free jewelry!

This giveaway will consist of two parts: a randomly chosen winner, and a winner based on my final destination selection. So, leave me a comment with your suggestion or dream vacation idea/experience. I will use random.org to select a winner from all comments submitted. Then, once I make a final choice as to where I will be going, I will award a second prize to whomever suggested that destination. In the event that more than one person makes the winning suggestion, the individual who posted their comment first gets the prize.
***Earn yourself a bonus entry if you post a link from your blog to this contest!***

Now, what is the prize, you ask?

Brand new Cookie Lee jewelry! The winners will each receive a beautiful necklace from Cookie Lee, with many to choose from. (Full disclosure, I am a CL consultant)

In order to keep your suggestion within the realm of what I'm looking for, here are some things to know:

I want to go somewhere I will most likely never have a chance or reason to go with my family. So, forget Hawaii, Alaska, Canada and most of Mexico...I hope to take my own family there someday.

I want to go somewhere that will not be overrun with crazy high school and college grads on all-you-can-drink party trips.

I'd like to limit my travel time from Phoenix to my final destination to under 24 hours...this is the trip of a lifetime, and I don't want to spend 3 out of 7 days of it in airports or on planes.

I am open to almost any kind of destination. I do better in third world conditions than in ultra-high-end/super-all-inclusive resorts. If I go somewhere like Jamaica I'd be more likely to end up trawling the local markets than sitting on a private beach with an umbrella in my drink...that's just the kind of girl I am.

I enjoy hiking and exploring, but I'm no triathlete and I am turning forty, after all. Forty and a little out of shape. Ok, a lot out of shape.

So, where should I go?

Where in the World?

2008-11-18T13:37:00.008-07:00

I have a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity before me, and it's making me crazy!

Let me backtrack a bit... I have a wonderful friend who has been an amazing part of my life for almost a quarter-century. Her friendship has seen me through so many ups and downs over the years. We supported each other through several painful relationships and subsequent breakups, and always manage to pick up right where we leave off, despite the fact that we have not lived in the same time zone for 15 years. She is, plain and simple, a great friend.

She has also found substantial success in her professional life. In the past 7 years, she has nailed a regular TV show, two book deals, and her own cosmetics line. Life has been good to this hard-working girl, and I am thrilled for her and her success!

Well, I have a big birthday coming up in less than 6 months. Yup, I'm turning forty in May. How the hell that snuck up on me, I'll never know. My dear friend recently called to remind me that the big day is hanging over my head, and to ask me what I had planned. I figured “fixing myself a hemlock cocktail” was a bit on the melodramatic side, so I just admitted I had nothing planned yet. She took the opportunity to declare that she wanted to treat me to a Girls’ Trip for my birthday…anywhere I want to go, anything I want to do.

“Ok, let’s go pet penguins in Patagonia!” I shot back.

She said we could do that.

Or we could climb Kilimanjaro…

Cruise the Nile…

Take the train from Dakar to Bamako and hire Tuareg guides to escort us to Timbuktu…

Drink rum on a beach in the Caribbean until we turn purple…

She literally meant anywhere and anything…her treat!

This is an incredibly generous offer, the kind of opportunity that I would have killed for in the past. Now, however, it presents a whole bunch of challenges.

First…I’m a mom with three kids. I have a wonderful husband who has always supported anything I wanted to do. I know he will do whatever he can to make this trip possible for me. He’ll make sure the kids are well cared-for. He’ll drive me to the airport. He’ll even double check my packing to make sure I don’t forget my toothbrush or socks. Still, I have to consider the fact that there are now a bunch of little people counting on me to come back, safe and sound. That kind of limits where I can go and what I can do. So, for as much as I would LOVE to head to Rwanda and climb the Virungas to Dian Fossey’s Mountain Gorilla Research Center, it’s probably not prudent when one considers the current state of instability in neighboring Congo. Conflict in that part of the world has a tendency to spill across borders.

Second…I have major guilt at my inability to reciprocate. This is a big one for me. I have spent the past week trying to remind myself that there was a time when I sent this same girlfriend Trader Joe’s care packages filled with boxed soups, peanut butter, pasta, and other staples so she wouldn’t starve while struggling to make it in NYC in the early days of her career. I know, because she’s told me repeatedly, that she wants to do stuff like this…that it’s not a big deal because the nature of her business means she’s accumulated more airline miles and AMEX points than she’ll ever be able to use on her own. My own perspective, after ten years of paycheck-to-paycheck school teaching, makes it hard to wrap my brain around this kind of lifestyle. It baffles me!

Finally…there are too many choices! Literally, there’s a whole world of possibilities out there!

I want to do something I’d never have the chance to do again.

I want to go somewhere I’m not likely to go with my family “someday”…so no Hawaii or Mexico.

I want to go somewhere that won’t require 24+ hours just to get there…if this is a once-in-a-lifetime trip I want it to start ASAP!

Poor me…what a tough choice!

Any suggestions?

Not Such Good Odds

2008-11-14T16:50:00.002-07:00

Given all the bears I've been running into recently, I figured I had better be aware of my odds of survival if I'm NOT in my car the next time. Looks like I'd better sign up for some wrestling lessons mighty quick!

I Go Fast, Good Cop, Dead Cow Road

2008-11-12T21:43:00.005-07:00

I guess it was bound to happen...

Despite the fact that I racked up a fair number of parking tickets in college (my classes were soooooo far), I have not been cited for a moving violation in over 20 years. That is, until last Thursday.

My new job entails more highway driving than I've done in quite a while. Arizona is a big state with lots of lonely roads. I'd had a 32 ounce McDonalds Vanilla Iced Coffee that morning. It was only 3 more miles to the next restroom.

Then I saw one of these:

The speed limit was 55.

I was clocked doing 76.

That was after slowing down because I spotted Mr. Officer's black SUV lurking in the brush up ahead of me.

I guess my 1996 Maxima has some guts after all! I also guess my foot is a little heavier than I thought.

Fortunately my almost-arresting officer (21+ mph over the speed limit can be a criminal offense...who knew!) had mercy on me and my tiny bladder and only kept me on the side of the road for about 45 minutes while checking my ID against state and federal wanted lists, INTERPOL, and Intergalactic Law Enforcement. I drove away (slowly, of course) with a big, fat speeding ticket and a stern warning about the dangers of exceeding the speed limit on AZ Highway 238, AKA "Dead Cow Road".

Huh??!!

Yes, Mobile Road is fondly referred to as Dead Cow Road by the locals because of the large number of bovine fatalities alongside the highway following sparring matches with moving vehicles.

Nice.

Add that to my list of interesting Arizona place names.

Congratulations, Mr. President

2008-11-04T21:10:00.002-07:00

I am so proud to be an American tonight! Finally, we as a nation are living up to the promise of our great Declaration of Independence.

No matter your politics, no matter your opinions about this man's stance on specific moral issues, social issues, financial issues, or whatever, I hope you at least take a moment to give thanks for the privilege of witnessing this historic event in our lifetime.

Perhaps the best part of tonight is having my children ask why this was such a big deal. After all, in their minds, it just seems to make perfect sense that a person of color could be elected President of the United States. In their words, "Why not?"

I love that we are finally at this point.

Halfway There!

2008-11-04T18:57:00.004-07:00

Actually, MORE than half way now. Barack Obama currently has a projected 174 of the necessary 270 electoral votes to clinch the Presidency.

Oh, happy day!

Do It!

2008-11-04T12:12:00.003-07:00

Have you voted yet?

I went to my neighborhood polling location early this morning. Despite the predicted crowds and long lines, I really wanted to vote in person. No matter how you look at it, today is an historic day. I guess I wanted to relish the full experience of participating in history's unfolding.

There was a line, but the wait was not unpleasant. Spirits were high, and everyone in line seemed upbeat and excited to be there. People were patient and courteous.

It was awesome, looking around and seeing the experience:

The elderly Vietnamese immigrant couple behind me...
The young woman in her camouflage Army uniform...
The large number of people of color (in a precinct that is predominantly caucasian)...
The white-haired women with their smart shoes and bags...
The men and women in their work clothes (scrubs, suits, McDonalds uniforms, etc.)...

It made me so damn proud to be American!

So, again, have you voted? Red or blue, left or right, elephant or donkey, make the most of your right to be heard.

Happy Halloween!

2008-11-02T12:47:00.002-07:00

A few days late, but here are some highlights from around our home. Hubby went all out decorating, obviously. Gotta love the "Death Star" pumpkin he carved! Hope your Halloween was safe and enjoyable. Friends who are signed up can check out my kiddos on our other blog here.

Will He Be Scarred For Life?

2008-10-30T09:49:00.004-07:00

Now that my almost-13-month-old son has eight (8??!!) teeth, we are trying to get him used to the idea that brushing them will be a lifelong responsibility and a good habit. We decided it would be best to give him his own toothbrush to play with. (Sorry Jen, dangling participle there...) This way, it would be "fun" instead of "scary". He's in control. He loves it!

There's just one problem...

I didn't plan ahead and have an appropriate new toothbrush ready to go when those first little toothies came through. I did, however, have a brand new, never used one like this:

Yes, my son is now attached to, and loving, his very own pink Strawberry Shortcake toothbrush! He stands in the bathroom each morning and copies Mom and Dad. He diligently "brushes" alongside the two of us. Then Mom follows up with some real brushing to make sure his chompers are clean.

It's been a much simpler introduction to dental hygiene than we had with my daughters. I guess the fact that we put Little Man in charge, instead of coming at him with an unfamiliar foreign object, made a difference.

Still, my husband is a little worried about the precedent we've set by starting him out with Strawberry Shortcake. Will he be scarred for life?

Just For Fun

2008-10-25T22:40:00.003-07:00

Here's my sweet baby boy, enjoying what passes for "Fall weather" in Phoenix...temps in the high 80s-low 90s. Ugh!

I just had to post this particular photo though. I am a compulsive proofreader, so every time I put this outfit on Connor, I have to pop a Benadryl to keep the hives at bay. You'll have to have an eagle eye to spot it, but ten bucks says Jen gets it within ten nanoseconds.

Today's Commute

2008-10-21T19:25:00.005-07:00

Here's the view on my commute today. I actually left home the afternoon before a training because it's all the way up north in a tiny town called Sanders, near the AZ-NM border. It was an amazing drive, and I think I saw just about all of the different environments found in this state. I left Phoenix, in the Sonoran Desert, drove through the Tonto National Forest up over the Mogollon Rim (7,000+ ft.) and into the Painted Desert and Navajo country. Beautiful!

During my drive, it occurred to me that Arizona has some places with odd names. A few off the top of my head:

Tombstone

Big Bug Creek

Happy Jack

Bloody Basin

Dry Beaver Creek

Bumble Bee

Today I added a new one to my list... "Kitty Joe Creek". I imagine "Kitty Joe" was a person of note in early AZ, and had a creek named after her. I'd love to find out more. I think that will be my new brain exercise, to note interesting place names when I'm driving and find out the story behind them.

On another note, it seems I'm becoming a bear magnet. On my drive today, I had one of these guys run across the road less than 100 yards in front of me!

A big, beautiful midnight black bear! This gorgeous animal was in a full run, and oh my was it FAST! I had no idea bears could run like that. I actually teared up a little because I was so overcome by how amazing it was.

My husband's Hopi background holds bears in very high regard. The Bear Clan is the highest-ranking clan in their traditional culture, and his grandfather is one of the clan's elders. It is supposed to be a very good sign when a bear crosses your path. Considering this is the second time a bear has graced me with an up-close-and-personal appearance in just a few weeks, I'm feeling mighty special. This isn't Yellowstone, after all!

I Miss My Plumeria

2008-10-20T12:30:00.007-07:00

Several weeks ago, my daughters had a "Fall Break" from school. I guess that's one upside to starting school the first week of August around here. I was able to take my three children to California for six days of non-Phoenix fun, and it was wonderful!

We spent the first part of our trip revisiting our old stomping grounds. One of the highlights of the trip for me was to see that the plumeria I'd planted outside our front door at our old house were not only still there, but were flourishing!

These were cuttings given to us by a native Hawaiian family who are very dear to us. They had sat, growing slowly and quietly, in clay pots for several years before I decided to put 'em in the ground. Of course, shortly after they were planted, we learned our home was being sold by the owner and we were going to have to move. When we decided to move to Arizona, I figured trying to relocate those plants would be their death sentence, so we left them in the ground and moved away. I cried when I said goodbye to those plants!

My worst fear was that the new owners would decide to rip them out and put in something else or remodel the house and do away with the planter altogether. I couldn't bear the thought of "my" plumeria ending up in a dumpster. So, I was thrilled to see my babies reaching for the sky. They were no longer hip-high little flowering plants...they are now pushing the envelope into full-fledged tree territory!

We had an opportunity to speak to the new owners, who were gracious enough to not only let me photograph the plumeria but to also invite us inside to see the many renovations they'd made to the house. They were wonderful. They thanked me for leaving the plumeria in the ground and said how much they appeciate the shade they give the front wall of the house, the privacy they provide the bedroom that faces the street, and the oh-so-yummy smelling blooms they produce all season long. I'm so glad they're enjoying those plumeria!

So, from my cell phone camera to this blog, here is a shot of "MY PLUMERIA":

Psssst, Joannah, let me know if you're still looking for plumeria cuttings and I'll give you the address!

Call me a Liberal, I Guess

2008-10-17T21:22:00.005-07:00

Feelin' Fall

2008-10-16T13:07:00.002-07:00

At this moment, my air conditioning just kicked on...

How ironic, considering I was just about to blog on the topic of my favorite season. I have always adored autumn.

I love the cooler days and chilly evenings. I look forward to unpacking all my best, coziest sweaters. I love sweaters!

I get excited thinking about Halloween and Thanksgiving, my two favorite holidays. I am a candy fiend, and I love to eat, so those being my favorite holidays shouldn't surprise anyone, I suppose.

After moving to Arizona, I came to appreciate fall for another reason: lower electricity bills!

So, my AC still turns on periodically. We're still hitting the 90s most days. At least my blog looks cool, cozy and autumn-y, right?

There They Go...

2008-10-13T17:22:00.002-07:00

I hear you tiptoeing out the back.

That "Obama '08" sticker on the right just gave you a fierce case of the hives.

I'm still me. I love my country. I despise terrorism. I'm a believer.

I just happen to be voting for a Democrat.

Please come back once you're past it.

Going Out on a Limb...

2008-10-03T08:32:00.006-07:00

*******WARNING: POLITICAL RANT BELOW! TUNE OUT NOW IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFENDED BY DIFFERING OPINIONS*******

I try to keep my politics to myself. I really, really do. I have such a diverse bunch of friends and acquaintances who I love and respect, even if we don't always share the same views, so I try to avoid hot-button topics that are bound to create friction.

After last night's Vice Presidential debate, however, I can't contain it. I am about to explode. I am losing my mind. All because of four little words.

Iran.

Iraq.

Tolerant.

Nuclear.

I'm not going to name names, but if you watched the debate you probably know to which candidate I'm referring. The bottom line in my book is this: If you are in a position where, within the next 100 days you may become one of the most powerful leaders in the free world, you better be careful in your use and/or pronunciation of those four words!

I'm not asking anyone to go the route of Los Angeles television news anchors and overexaggerate an accent when stating the name of a Central American immigrant whose business opening is featured on the 5:30 broadcast. I'm not saying our elected officials have to be fluent in every obscure dialect found in remote Himalayan tribal hinterlands.

I am asking that, when two countries are at the center of our current political situation, our democratically elected leaders (that means they represent you and me to the rest of the world folks!) at least make an effort to come close to the correct names of those places.

When I hear someone say "EYE-RAN" and "EYE-RACK" I get a mental image of that person, behind closed doors, referring to the residents of "EYE-RAN" and "EYE-RACK" as towel-headed camel jockeys while perusing a NASCAR catalog and watching WWF (or WWE or RAW or whatever acronym that fake-professional wrestling crap goes by this week). Ask your Iraqi and Iranian friends (you DO have at least one of those, I hope) if they agree. I think you'll find they do. It screams, "I'm 'n Amarikkkin, by golly, and thar ain't nuthin you ken say 'bout it!"

These two countries have been on our collective radar since the 1980s...that's almost 30 years, folks! We should have a pretty good idea as a nation of literate, educated people, how to say "EAR-ON" and "EAR-OCK". It's not that hard! **Both candidates were guilty of this one, people.**

These people want to represent me to the rest of the world. I don't want the rest of the world to perceive me as an ignorant redneck!

I also cringe when I hear someone say they "tolerate" those who are different from them.

Tolerate

What does that mean to you?

I "tolerate" the fact that ants mercilessly invade my kitchen every spring and fall as the weather changes because that's just a part of life where we live. I "tolerate" the ants, although I bring out the big guns and spray like hell to get rid of them as quickly as possible. I "tolerate" the inconvenience as I clean furiously and make sure there is absolutely nothing out for these nasty buggers to eat or drink, so they don't linger any longer than necessary before going away.

I don't want a leader who "tolerates" those who are different. It's clear to me that the candidate in question truly does mean "tolerate", as in "put up with temporarily while trying everything possible to eliminate/exterminate/eradicte the offending subject." I want a leader who accepts those who are different. As in, "allow to live in peace, with equal rights, and without trying to change or lay a guilt trip on."

Finally, the ultimate deal breaker for me...

NUCLEAR.

Say it with me folks...

NEW...

KLEE...

ER...

NEW-KLEE-ER!

It's friggin' nuclear, NOT "NEW-KYUH-LUR"

You can't say that word correctly, but you want to be inches away from the button that controls our nations new-klee-er arsenal?

Oh, no no NO!!!

**Edit: I just reread this and realized it comes across like I paid no attention to the actual issues discussed in last night's debate. I did pay attention. In my opinion, both candidates answered along party lines and said nothing unexpected or eye-opening. It was a pretty predictable debate overall, as far as I'm concerned.

I'm BAAAAAACK!

2008-09-24T18:55:00.006-07:00

I did not drop off the face of the planet. Nobody in my family was ill or passed away (thank God!). I have not been stuck in prison in the Philippines. I just...

...didn't have anything to say!

Anyone who has spent more than five minutes with me knows the above statement is a near impossibility. I always have something to say.

We have been busy.

Work is good.

My son got his ear tubes and weathered his first cold ever that did not morph into an ear infection.

Things are moving forward.

I am exhausted tonight, so I'm keeping it short, but I will share this with you:

Check out this photo from today's morning commute.

I also saw one of these on the drive as well:

Photo by Roger N. Clark

Can't beat the scenery on the drive to work today. I love my job!

Next time I'll have to tell you all about this place...

In a word, eeeeewwww!

Day #58...weather delayed

2008-08-29T08:44:00.002-07:00

Yesterday was a long, busy, productive day at work. I got to spend the day at a high school on the White Mountain Apache reservation in east central Arizona, up in the beautiful mountains...ahhhh! I accomplished a lot and made some great contacts at the school. The day started with an expression of disappointment that I had arrived, and not my boss, but ended with a request for ME (not my boss) to return in a couple weeks for more assistance.

As the day was drawing to a close, the clouds outside were looking pretty dark and threatening. (HUGE understatement!)

I drove 175 miles home, three-quarters of which was through what today has been described as the worst storm to pass through AZ in memory. We had hurricane strength winds of 80-100 mph! Thankfully, the most treacherous part of the drive, through the Salt River Canyon, was the one part of the drive where the storm gave me a break.

The path of yesterday's storm was the same route I had to take home, so I certainly got a workout. Thank goodness for a heavy, low-profile car. My Maxima may have almost 200,000 miles on it, but it was a ROCK on the drive! It earned itself a reprieve from the trade-in lot for the time being. It's old, it's ugly, it's got a zillion miles on it, but after yesterday I can't bear to let it go!

Driving my girls to school this morning we saw scores of trees that had been torn up by the winds last night. Many had branches torn off, and some were simply uprooted. I even saw one huge tree that had not only been ripped out by the roots, it had been flung into the middle of the road by the storm!

I am truly grateful for arriving home safely last night. I knew it was a rough drive, but only now do I realize how extreme yesterday's weather was.

Day #57

2008-08-27T21:21:00.003-07:00

Still loving the new job!

Tomorrow is a loooooong day. I leave my house before 5AM to head up to the White Mountains for the day. It's so nice to get paid to spend some time in a place that looks more like this:

...than like this:

No, that's not my house up there, but I think that photo really captures the ugliness that is Phoenix in my mind. I'm just not desert girl at heart.

Day #56

2008-08-26T10:14:00.005-07:00

When my daughters were both toddlers, throwing temper tantrums and making day-to-day life, er...challenging, people would tell me that things only get harder.

They were right.

Fortunately the tantrums are much fewer and farther-between, but a whole new set of challenges arose when they got older. I have two daughters, eighteen months apart, both approaching middle school age. The hormones are starting to kick up. Emotions are running high. Friends are becoming more important in the grand scheme of things. I'm getting scared.

Right now the biggest challenge for me is trying to navigate my way through the maze of girl diplomacy.

I love the friends my older daughter has chosen. This is a group of sweet, sensitive girls with great values. She spent Saturday volunteering at a local shelter, preparing meals and serving food to the homeless alongside her friend Mariah's family. There is no drama in this group of friends. All the families are so nice, and the girls get along wonderfully.

My younger daughter, however, is another story. She has some nice friends, but this group has a lot of drama going on. Again, the families are nice enough, but there are some discrepancies in values here. I'm not sure how to address this. I don't want to be the mom who tells her nine year old, "You can't play with so-and-so anymore!", but I am trying to passively discourage certain friendships. Is that bad?

I clearly see certain friendships leading to some very hurt feelings in the future. There are some mean-girls-in-training in this group, and my younger daughter tends to be more of a follower. She is already so concerned with what her friends think. As we tried to plan her birthday party, she was most concerned with when it would be convenient for her friends, and what her friends would like to do most. I kept telling her it was supposed to be her day to choose an activity that would be special to her, not a time to try and please her friends. She didn't get it.

How can I help her become more of a leader and less of a follower? How do I guide her toward friends who will lift her up, not drag her down?

Those folks who said it only gets harder weren't kidding. At least we're done with tears in the checkout line at the market when Mommy says no to candy.

Oh wait, I have an almost-toddler on my hands...

Here we go again!

Day #55...Huh?

2008-08-25T11:57:00.003-07:00

If you ever want to feel better about yourself and what you've eaten, check out this website.

Personally, I don't get it. I realize there are some who would accuse bloggers of having "nothing better to do", but FoodFeed just makes no sense to me whatsoever!

I guess it's useful if you're having regrets about that extra brownie you had this morning. Yeah, I had brownies for breakfast. Have I mentioned I'm going to lose 25 pounds before my 100th day of blogging is up?

Day #54

2008-08-24T22:15:00.003-07:00

There are babies in the air!

No, I am not pregnant. Following the birth of our son last fall, my husband and I made absolutely certain there would be no more. I was a little sad about that. Saying a permanent goodbye to one's childbearing phase is bittersweet. Sometimes more bitter than sweet. In a way it's an acknowledgement of one's mortality, as in, "I am getting too old to carry another pregnancy". I don't like addressing that reality one bit!

It was also a little sad because I realized our son would be somewhat of an only child. The age difference (8+ years) between him and our next-youngest child is so great that in many ways he'll always be on his own. Our daughters were so close in age, they were practically twins. They always had a companion (and sparring partner), but our little guy will never have that. I feel kind of bad about it.

However, my friends and family have unknowingly stepped into the gap and are providing my little boy with some age-compatible playmates! I have recently learned that I am going to be an aunt for the first time (so excited!), and one of my oldest friends here in AZ (one of my grad school roommates, actually) is expecting as well. Come spring, there will be new babies buzzing around the periphery of my life. I can't wait! I'll get my itty-bitty baby fix, AND, a little later on, my son will have some playmates at family functions and social get-togethers.

There are a few other friends out there who I know are working on joining the "Mommy to Be" club (you know who you are, ladies). Here's hoping the Baby Magic comes your way soon!

Day #53

2008-08-23T22:15:00.003-07:00

Next week I will be spending three days in Yuma for work. If Phoenix is Hell, then Yuma is the lowest level of Hell. I was amused by a quote from the Yuma tourism website:

"Mild winters and temperate summers make Yuma an ideal destination for all your vacation needs."

I'm trying to figure out in which parallel universe regular temperatures in excess of 110 degrees is considered "temperate".

My dad once shared with me the fact that Yuma is often used as a test site for aircraft (he's an aerospace engineer). Apparently Yuma is a good location for testing hot takeoff and landing conditions. Notice, it's not utilized for its "temperate" climate.

I can't stand temperatures above 72 degrees, personally. I know, what am I doing living in Phoenix, right? You know a city is hot when someone from Phoenix is nervous about going there due to the heat...

Day #52

2008-08-22T22:04:00.002-07:00

Just in case you were wondering...

I spent most of my life in Southern California, often considered home to some of the nuttiest folks on the planet. I've lived in Phoenix for a little over two years and can now say, with authority and absolute certainty, that THIS is the center of the kooky universe.

If you doubt the above statement, check this out:

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21134540/vp/25949118#25949118

Day #51

2008-08-21T22:00:00.002-07:00

I'm not sure what bothers me most about this article...

Is it the blatant disregard for property and the law exhibited by the woman in the story?

Or is it the glaring typos?

Someone got paid to write this article...and someone was paid to proof and edit it, for goodness sake!!!

http://www.azcentral.com/offbeat/articles/2008/08/21/20080821library-CR.html

Day #50...Halfway There!

2008-08-20T00:01:00.000-07:00

Wish I could say the same about my weight loss goal...but that's another post altogether.

After the air conditioning fiasco, our house was left smelling less-than-rosy. In fact, something about heating the house to a toasty 100+ degrees seems to have activated the lovely aroma of musty dog. I steam-cleaned the carpet today (don't get me started on carpet...I detest carpet!!!), but now the odor is even worse. It's not a urine smell, or anything like that. Our sweet German Shepherd is too good for that.

It just smells like...dog!

I don't want to put any perfume-y powder crap in the carpet, since my son is crawling everywhere. I just want something safe and nontoxic that will get rid of the smell!

I plan to get a fresh box of plain baking soda to sprinkle on the carpet tomorrow before I leave the house, then vaccuum as soon as I get home a couple hours later.

Anyone have any better ideas?

Seriously, dog lovers, help me out here!

Day #49...still hot, with falling trees!

2008-08-19T09:27:00.001-07:00

**************This post was started on Friday, but couldn't be completed until today due to circumstances beyond my control. Keep reading, you'll see why...*******************

Ok, just ONE tree is falling, but talk about a complicated evening!

In the midst of the AC drama, we had a big monsoon storm roll through. During the peak of the wind and soaking rain, my husband arrived home from work and informed me that one of the 30 foot trees alongside our house was about to fall over onto our neighbor's roof! This was the same sweet neighbor who was preparing to have us stay over while our AC is awaiting replacement.

The fire department was called out and offered some sage advice along the lines of, "Ummm, yeah you should probably have someone come out and take out that tree."

Ya think??!!

Try finding someone to come out at 9pm in the middle of a summer monsoon to take out a massive palo verde. It ain't gonna happen.

So, our other sweet neighbors then volunteered their house for my family and the next door neighbor with the tree about to fall on her living room...

SLUMBER PARTY!

My husband did his best to fashion a makeshift prop/tie line to hold the tree up until morning. The worst of the wind had passed, thankfully, so the tree actually held. We all slept, cool and safe, at our neighbors' house.

By morning, we were well into the 90 degree+ range, and the smell of a hot and stuffy house was getting pretty bad. My husband was on the neighbor's roof, taking down the leaning tree, the girls were at school, and I had all but given up on getting anything accomplished as far as work from home. I frantically packed things we'd need over the weekend, as it became obvious that we'd need to relocate temporarily.

Our landlord generously offered to put us up in a vacation condo nearby that is owned by her in-laws. We tried to put a positive spin on things and think of it as a little "staycation" (I know, I hate that word too...). The condo was in a new brownstone development close to ASU. It was beautiful! I wish I'd taken my camera, because this three story, two bedroom condo had everything...a huge, flat screen tv (hubby liked that), a basement playroom, a sunken garden tub, a reading loft, ohhhhhh...it was so nice!

There was just one little problem...

The owners live in Michigan and had not been out in a few months. They also had apparently overlooked the water bill, because after relaxing for a few hours and enjoying CNN on that huge tv (who knew Manhattan could be under a tornado warning, by the way...sorry, ADD moment), I went to wash one of my son's sippy cups and discovered there was no running water!

Phone calls were made, the bill was paid electronically, but being that it was after 2 PM on a Friday, those hard working City of Tempe folks decided it was too late to have someone come over and flip whatever switch needs to be flipped to restore water service. So, we packed up (again) and headed for a hotel.

It had been a long couple of days and the kids had been such troopers in the midst of discomfort and chaos. We decided to splurge a little and stay at one of the local resorts. Truthfully, it wasn't really a splurge, because no tourists in their right minds come to Phoenix in August anyway, so there are lots of deals to be had. Rooms at the place we stayed run in the same price range as any decent motel this time of year. We were able to let the kids enjoy some fun in a beautiful pool and waterslide while we gave thanks for the miracle that is modern air conditioning.

We got the call on Saturday morning that our AC would be fixed that day, so my husband raced home to let the repairmen in while the rest of us continued to enjoy that beautiful pool. When checkout time rolled around at noon, we discovered that our wonderful landlord had called in a gift certificate for the cost of our room.

WE LOVE HER!

So, by Sunday our house was back to being livable as far as temperature goes. Sunday and Monday were devoted to the tasks of cleaning up the mess left by the installation of a new AC unit and trying to catch up on housework and the multitude of things I was supposed to get done for my job on Thursday and Friday.

Here it is, Tuesday morning, and things are settling down.

I am sitting in a Starbucks, munching on a fruit plate and sipping my iced coffee. It's not even 9:30 yet, but I've already conducted a training this morning and finished a big chunk of a project that's deadline is tomorrow. I'm waiting for traffic to die down a bit before hopping on the freeway to head home. I'm trying to decide what feels best about today. Is it the fact that when I get back to my house, it will be a comfortable 78 degrees? Maybe. I suspect the best thing about today is that I am here, and not in a classroom. My boss is confident enough in me to have me doing trainings solo now, I am earning money again, and I am content.

Things aren't perfect, but they sure are better!

By the way, a HUGE thank you to MICHELLE for your offer of a place to flee the heat on Thursday! I didn't see your comment until yesterday, but thank you for thinking of us!

Day #48...hot, Hot, HOT!!!

2008-08-14T13:33:00.003-07:00

Our air conditioning took another nosedive today. It has been sounding like a giant metal grinder for weeks, but after the last repair they assured us it was as good as new. We had hoped then that they'd go ahead and replace it, as it's an older unit and costs a mint ot run here in the Phoenix summer. They opted for the temporary fix. You get what you pay for...

I was so excited to be working from home today in a quiet house (now that the girls are back in school). Instead, I'm sitting here sweating as I watch the thermometer creep upward. Actually, I think it's sprinting rather than creeping.

I can't go anywhere because I have to wait for the repairmen, who are unable to give me even a rough estimation of their arrival time. Of course, it will probably fall somewhere within the 15 minute window in which I must pick up my girls from school.

I imagine they will arrive, look at the AC unit, tell us it needs a major repair or replacement, and being that it's almost the weekend we''ll probably be stuck sweating it out until Monday or Tuesday.

It's only supposed to hit 108 tomorrow.

Here's one of those things I often ponder...
Why don't AC repair companies seem to stock any of the parts they need to actually DO repairs? I can't understand why this is one business where every fix takes a number of days because one must wait on parts.

It's not yet 2:00 PM and my house has already reached 85 degrees inside. I don't think this is going to be pretty. Time to gather up my candles and other meltables and get them into the garage fridge!

***UPDATE: At 7:50 PM we have an indoor temperature of 94 degrees. The AC needs to be totally replaced and won't be done until Saturday at the earliest, and possibly not until Monday or Tuesday. I had to make rush arrangements to kennel our dog to spare her the heat. This stinks!***

Day #47

2008-08-13T22:09:00.002-07:00

Like a deer in the headlights...

My boss had me run my first training today. He dropped this bomb on me once I arrived at the school where we were scheduled. I was a wreck. Fortunately I was working with a small group of very easygoing and flexble teachers who were eager to get the software up and running for their school. My boss occasionally jumped in with comments or suggestions to guide our training, but for the most part it was all me.

We accomplished our goals and got everything covered.

All I can say is whew!

Day #46

2008-08-12T19:55:00.004-07:00

Your soul is worth more than diamonds...

I'm such a hippie at heart (without the weed, of course).

I don't care who you vote for this fall, just please VOTE!

Day #45

2008-08-11T22:25:00.006-07:00

Jury duty is an interesting study in human nature. Today I witnessed all kinds of interesting and curious behavior on the part of prospective jurors as well as a defendant. Strange stuff!

Nobody wants to be on a jury

Ok, maybe I’m generalizing here, but I think most folks can come up with a thousand other things they would rather do besides sit on a jury. It’s inconvenient, the pay stinks, it’s boring, and the responsibility is huge. I get it! Still, it always amazes me the lengths people will go to in order to be excused from service.

Prospective jurors are instructed to answer all questions honestly. The idea is to weed out bias, prejudice, and life experiences that may prevent one from being fair and impartial. Makes sense to me. The judge today was very clear on many occasions that we were to answer honestly, but if there was sensitive information we would rather not share publicly, we could indicated a “yes” answer, then state that we’d rather discuss details privately with the judge and attorneys. Sounds fair, right?

Well, I was horrified by the number of individuals who openly answered questions about extremely personal information almost gleefully. What the heck??!! Your dad is locked up and awaiting trial for ten counts of exploitation of a minor? Uh, I’d probably want to discuss that privately, thank you very much. Oh, you were raped? Well, thanks for sharing!

Don’t get me wrong…I’m in no way suggesting these folks should be ashamed of things that happened to them, or that were perpetrated by friends or family. I’m all for owning your experiences and moving forward in a good way. But still, I found it really uncomfortable in such a public setting. If your goal is to get out of jury duty, please take the confidential disclosure option. In my humble opinion, anything else is just some weird exhibitionism. This was not a support group or therapy session. It was jury selection!

A man who defends himself has a fool for a client

The jury selection process I participated in today was for a criminal case. The defendant was an older man who had elected to defend himself. I suspect he was a doctor or other highly educated professional. He has been charged with a pretty nasty offense involving physical violence and law enforcement. Sounds messy!

During the entire questioning process, I was having this internal dialog. Yeah, I wanted to get out of service as much as anyone else in the room, but I kept hearing this little voice in my head say “I can be fair, unbiased, and impartial!” I was in full Girl Scout mode, answering questions directly and honestly. It was time to perform my civic duty, and I was stepping up to the plate, by golly! I was totally convinced I could be a great juror (ok, I was having fantasies of being elected foreman and being the one interviewed on 60 Minutes…), right up until we reached the part of the process where the judge allowed the attorneys to ask questions of individual jurors.

Keep in mind, the defendant was representing himself…

When it was his turn to interview jurors, he stood up and addressed a middle aged woman who was employed by a local law enforcement agency. In a harsh, abrasive, loud, and confrontational tone he barked, “Juror number 15, am I innocent or guilty?” She sat in stunned silence for a moment before he repeated his demand. This time the startled woman replied that she didn’t know. His angry response was a monologue about the fact that in a court of law, he was innocent until proven guilty and nobody had the right to presume otherwise. I guess he had a point, but it was not the time or place to be making that point. At that moment I made up my mind that there was no way I could now be fair and impartial. This guy was definitely guilty…of being a jerk with a big ol’ chip on his shoulder!

Fortunately I was not selected for service and was dismissed in the late afternoon. Whew!

And I didn’t even have to publicly confess any deep, dark family secrets.

Day #44...Why I Heart CVS

2008-08-10T14:32:00.002-07:00

Today was a very good day for me in CVS land. It would have been even better if I'd been more organized and less generous. Ok, I don't feel too bad about the generous part, but the disorganized thing...very disappointed in myself.

In short, I purchased $32.70 in merchandise for a total of $3.63 out of pocket. That should have been $$0.13 out of pocket, but I misplaced a $2.50 coupon that I 'd have used on my first transaction, and I ended up donating $1.00 to the Phoenix Children's Hospital. More on the unexpected bonus from that little bit of giving later.

My CVS trip today involved two transactions:

Transaction#1:

2 Children's Advil @ $5.79 each = $11.58

used 2 $1 coupons, a $2/$10, a coupon for $3.08, and $4.50 ECBs

Total OOP: $0.17
ECBs earned: $11.58

(I had a CVS coupon for $2.50 off any $10 pain reliever purchase that I should have used here, which would have reduced my ECB cost to $2...I'm so bummed I missed that one!)

Transaction #2:

Alavert 12 ct. = $5.99 (used $4 coupon)
2 Kotex Lightdays @ $3.99 each = $7.98 (used 2 $1 coupons)
CVS Aloe Vera Gel = $0.59
CVS 30 SPF Sunscreen = $0.19
CVS Ibuprofen 20 ct. = $3.39 (used CVS coupon for free item)
Johnson's Buddies Soap = $0.99 (used $0.99 coupon)
Vasoline Intensive Care Lotion 1 oz. = $0.99
$1 donation to PCH

used $4/20 coupon, $2 CVS coupon, and $2 ECBs

Total OOP: $3.46
ECBs earned: $7

I didn't know this beforehand, but my donation to PCH got me a sheet of coupons to some local business and a $3/$15 CVS coupon. SO, I guess my donation earned me $2. I love it when that happens

Once again, I got a bunch of stuff we need and use regularly for pennies on the dollar. I so love my CVS!

Day #43

2008-08-09T21:35:00.003-07:00

I have to get a new car. There is simply no way around it. We have not had to worry about a car payment in more than three years, which has been nice, but both our vehicles are pushing 200,000 miles. It's only a matter of time before one or both of them go belly up. With three kids, an extreme climate where we live, and a new job that requires occasional long distance driving (by myself in some pretty remote areas), we need a reliable car. Actually, we need two.

Our plan is to save up some cash as quickly as possible to pay up front for a good, preowned minivan (yes, my husband has finally decided he'll still have testicles even if there's a minivan in the garage). Since it would probably take us a couple years to save enough for a second car as well, we're going to break one of Dave Ramsey's cardinal rules and go ahead and finance the purchase of a second vehicle. This one should be something economical. We intend for the economy car to be used by me when I'm on travel in state, then used by my husband on all other days for his 40 mile round trip commute to work. Whoever is not using the economy car will be the one dealing with the kids that day anyway, so it makes sense for that person to have the minivan.

My husband is a fairly big guy. He is convinced it's impossible for him to drive anything smaller that a full size truck or luxury sedan...this kind of defeats the idea of an economical car. I'm trying to convince him he could learn to be happy with something more along the lines of this:

I hope I can get him over to my side!

Day #42

2008-08-08T21:32:00.003-07:00

I am in heaven watching the parade of nations in the opening ceremonies of the Olympic Games. It's like a full-color, live action world geography trivia game. Totally up my alley!

Now what was up with those Hungarian outfits?

Day #41

2008-08-08T00:09:00.002-07:00

It's after midnight and I'm putting the finishing touches on a project for work tomorrow. Amazingly, I don't really mind the late hour. I'm sure some of it is the novelty of a new job, but I think it's mostly because I'm so glad to not be teaching!

As I dropped my daughters off at school this morning, one of the teachers who was on duty in the parking lot asked me if I missed being there. Mmmmm...nope! Not at all. Not even for a second. I get plenty of "kid" attention from my own children and their friends. Maybe in a few years, when my children are grown and I'm not as eager to explore life's possibilities, I'll long for my days in the classroom. Who knows, perhaps I'll return to the classroom eventually. I won't rule it out entirely.

I just know that with each day that passes, I am more and more grateful for finding the courage to take a few steps back and change direction. I feel productive, useful, appreciated, and encouraged to believe in my abilities and talents.

Love it!