Time Flies

Is it really just a few days from 2009? How on Earth does that happen? It's true what they say...the older one gets, the faster it goes.

Wow!

Is It Just Me...

or is this grammatical error really annoying?

A free hash browns?

I'm not quite sure how to correct it though. How about these possibilities:

Get free hash browns... (maybe implies an unlimited amount)
Get a free hash brown...(can hash browns be singular?)
Get a free order/side of hash browns...(the best option in my book)

The more I type this, the more I realize "hash browns" is a really weird name...

I need to quit obsessing about corporate grammar and get back to work!

An Open Letter to Mr. Sign Spinner

Dear Mr. Sign Spinner,

After many months of observation and careful consideration, I have decided to write to you. You see, I admire your work ethic, your energy, and your motivation. The economy stinks, and so many people are out of work. I know you probably consider yourself fortunate to have a job that allows you to pay for that college tuition or perhaps just earn some extra beer money for Friday night.

I see you there, standing on the street corner, in 100 degree Phoenix weather. I admire your stamina and endurance. You are the marathon runner of the advertising world. I marvel at your energy, and especially at your ability to grab a swig of Gatorade while maintaining your sign's constant motion. Amazing!

The profession of sign spinning has apparently evolved over the past five years. Back in the early years of the 21st century, your predecessors would stand in their assigned locations and hold their signs. The arrows would always point toward the business/service/apartment complex being advertised. Sign spinners, circa 2002, might occasionally dig deep and find a little burst of enthusiasm that enabled the rocking back and forth of their signs. Look out!

Nowadays, your job description apparently includes something along the lines of the following:

Must possess demonstrated ability to spin, flip, toss, and catch advertising paraphernalia and keep said material in a constant state of motion. Candidate must be able to ensure passersby remain completely ignorant as to the exact location of sponsor's business. The ideal candidate has the ability to meet a minimum spins-per-second (SPS) ratio so as to prevent the actual reading of sign in hand.

Mr. Sign Spinner, I really admire your flair for the job. Don't get me wrong, it is not my intention to denigrate your position in any way. You seem like a nice and certainly hard-working kid. Kudos to you for taking an honest day's work rather than choosing to deal drugs. I just have to ask that you please, please consider the possibility that I might actually want to read the sign you are flipping, tossing, spinning, and rolling across your back and weaving between your legs! Heck, if I get a chance to read it perhaps I might then want to know in which direction your employer's business is located!

The JC Penney Outlet Store is closing? All items are 40-70% off? Really? Where??!! I might not be from this part of town and know where the Outlet is, so if you're advertising a great deal on something I need...you just lost a potential customer. You see, I couldn't read your sign, nor could I tell which way it was supposed to be pointing.

Oh well...

Finally!

For the first time in at least five years...ten bucks' worth of gas is actually enough to get me through the week! Woo hoo!!

I Laughed So Hard, I Cried!

I have a new, absolute favorite blog! I stumbled across this site, thanks to a post on Domestically Disabled Girl's blog. I was belly-laughing so hard my husband thought I'd lost my mind. I had tears streaming down my face. Oh my gosh, I needed that kind of laughter tonight!

Enjoy!

http://cakewrecks.blogspot.com/

I Don't Get It!

• Open-toed boots...what's the point?
• People who can't pick their dog's mess up off my front yard...did you not SEE him squatting while you stood there? Can I give you a baggie next time? Knock on my door...please!
• Parents who swear they want to keep their kids innocent as long as possible, then hire DJs for their daughter's 13th birthday and think it's "cute" when she and 30 of her adolescent friends all sing, er, scream along to the lyrics, "I kissed a girl and I liked it..."
• Showing an explicit trailer for a very scary horror movie immediately in front of a feature film geared toward 'tween girls...seriously, what are they thinking?
• Excommunicating one church member for putting together a very innocent "beefcake" calendar, but practically mandating your congregation support the books and films of another member who writes about friggin' vampires...as heroes??!!
• Fruitcake...'nuf said!

Help Me Choose, Win Jewelry!

Seriously folks, I know my last post bordered on pathetic. Poor me, trying to figure out where to take a dream vacation, right?

I need help, and I'm willing to resort to bribery in order to solicit as much input as possible. There's a genius idea out there somewhere, I just know it! In the spirit of fun (and bribery, of course) I'm hosting a giveaway...free jewelry!

This giveaway will consist of two parts: a randomly chosen winner, and a winner based on my final destination selection. So, leave me a comment with your suggestion or dream vacation idea/experience. I will use random.org to select a winner from all comments submitted. Then, once I make a final choice as to where I will be going, I will award a second prize to whomever suggested that destination. In the event that more than one person makes the winning suggestion, the individual who posted their comment first gets the prize.
***Earn yourself a bonus entry if you post a link from your blog to this contest!***

Now, what is the prize, you ask?

Brand new Cookie Lee jewelry! The winners will each receive a beautiful necklace from Cookie Lee, with many to choose from. (Full disclosure, I am a CL consultant)

In order to keep your suggestion within the realm of what I'm looking for, here are some things to know:

• I want to go somewhere I will most likely never have a chance or reason to go with my family. So, forget Hawaii, Alaska, Canada and most of Mexico...I hope to take my own family there someday.



• I want to go somewhere that will not be overrun with crazy high school and college grads on all-you-can-drink party trips.



• I'd like to limit my travel time from Phoenix to my final destination to under 24 hours...this is the trip of a lifetime, and I don't want to spend 3 out of 7 days of it in airports or on planes.



• I am open to almost any kind of destination. I do better in third world conditions than in ultra-high-end/super-all-inclusive resorts. If I go somewhere like Jamaica I'd be more likely to end up trawling the local markets than sitting on a private beach with an umbrella in my drink...that's just the kind of girl I am.



• I enjoy hiking and exploring, but I'm no triathlete and I am turning forty, after all. Forty and a little out of shape. Ok, a lot out of shape.

So, where should I go?