Tuesday, January 22, 2008
I feel so overwhelmed by the thought of radical change. I know a huge part of my failure to achieve the things I'd hoped to accomplish in my life by now is the fact that I tend to stay with the familiar. I am more comfortable staying in my rut, complaining about how much I dislike being in it, than jumping out into the unknown.
Since having children, my fear of taking risks has grown exponentially. I realize now that I've spent the last ten years accepting the situation because it was known and safe. I have used the excuse that I don't want to risk the well-being and security of my family (at least in the short term) by taking chances and jumping out into a financial free fall. Meanwhile, I have effectively backed myself and my family into a corner as far as long-term goals go.
I now owe MORE money on my student loans than I did when I graduated in 1997, thanks to several forbearances I'd taken out when things got really tight. So, I've paid more than $10K toward my loans, but owe $10K more than I did a decade ago. Damn that compounding interest! My student loans are the single biggest factor that prevented us from being able to buy a home of our own.
I know things have to change...they MUST change! I can't keep doing the same thing and expecting different results. I believe someone said that is the definition of insanity. I'm tired of being nuts when it comes to this stuff!
So, time to mix it up, get a little wild and crazy,and figure out a new road to take that will have a different destination.